The Breath of Life
Our breathing is controlled by our autonomic nervous system and, as the name suggests, it is an automatic response - we don't have to think about each breath, our brain and body does this for us. As a result we tend to take for granted the air that gives us life and the response that allows us to breathe.
The first thing a baby usually does when it comes out of the womb is to breathe. And we need to go back to our first few days, months and years in order to learn again how to breathe in a way that is easy for our bodies and which is relaxing.
If you watch a baby sleeping, you can learn again the best way of breathing, which is the natural, unforced method of breathing using the belly area. When we breathe in, our bellies expand and when we breathe out, our bellies contract. This allows the diaphragm to move downwards giving a greater area into which the lungs can expand, and thus a larger amount of air is sucked into the body.
It is fascinating to see people in workshops returning again to this form of breathing - the studied facial expressions while they try to master this forgotten skill are quite comical. Many of us find it very difficult to achieve this because we have spent so much of our time breathing through the upper chest. Expanding the rib cage is much more labour intensive because of the cumbersome nature of the skeleton.
The reasons for our change in breathing to using the chest area are interesting:
- Life has become so fast-paced now that we don't take time to slow ourselves down properly at any point.
- Whether we are aware of it or not, many of us live in a state of stress, at one level or another, for most of our lives so we breathe in the same way as cavemen would have done when they were hunting - 'fight-or-flight' mode. In other words, we are deciding all the time whether or not to stand our ground and deal with the many and varied situations that arise in our lives or whether to back off and deal with the frustration that it causes.
- For women, we have been urged for many years to make sure that we have flat stomachs. And how many times have we heard someone say when they're trying to squeeze through a small space, 'Breathe in'?
Whilst this kind of stress is harmless for very short periods of time, lengthy periods keep adrenaline pumping around our system for too long and can do a great deal of harm. Breathing through the upper chest is a symptom of this situation and also a primer for further stress - it's a vicious cycle.
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Relaxation
How often do we need to relax?
At least once a day and preferably twice a day, and it's helpful if we can arrange one of these sessions for the period just before we go to bed so that we're in the right frame of mind to sleep soundly and effectively.
Trying to get a good night's sleep after working or studying during the evening is very difficult for most people. It doesn't allow time for the brain to go into a state of lower activity so that it can wind down ready for sleep. Equally, many people find that doing strenuous physical exercise not long before bed without effective 'cool down' and relaxation periods prevents them from settling down easily and/or sleeping through the night. Although some people find that exercise before bed actually helps them to sleep!
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Preparation for relaxation
It is important to make sure that you won't be disturbed during your relaxation session because it can be quite a shock to the system if the telephone rings or someone rushes into the room. So, if you live with other people, you need to negotiate with them for some privacy and quiet as far as possible, or perhaps arrange your sessions for when no one else is around. They will soon get used to the idea that this is 'your time' if you show that you are committed to it.
It's best to be in an enclosed space of some kind - a room with a door that you can shut or a garden that is secluded and as quiet as possible. To shut out surrounding noise, you might consider playing quiet, relaxing music and perhaps use headphones.
An oil burner containing aromatherapy oil contributes to a relaxed atmosphere if you're in an enclosed room - lavender or rose are good for relaxation.
A comfortable chair that supports your body all the way down your spine is essential; otherwise, you'll tense up in those areas where you're not supported. Take some time to get yourself comfortable before you start so that you don't have to make any radical movements during the session.
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The relaxation session
Before we can genuinely relax, we have to learn how to breathe in a relaxed way; otherwise we'll just get more and more frustrated at not being able to completely relax.
So start by closing your eyes (or looking downwards to a point a few inches in front of your knees) and focusing on your breathing and take slightly deeper breaths - taking very deep breaths tends to lead to over-breathing which can induce as much tension as breathing through the upper chest. Notice what happens to your body as you breathe - is it just your chest that is moving in and out? Is it a little difficult to breathe?
Shift your focus to your belly and place your hands over this area. Allow your belly to expand as you breathe in - if you're not used to this way of breathing, it can be helpful to actually push your belly out gently. Feel your hands lifting and then softly falling as you breathe in and out. Your chest should only expand at the end of an in-breath and even then it probably won't be a significant expansion.
Once you've mastered this mode of breathing, you'll begin to feel very relaxed and you can then let your breath become more shallow and light so that you are not working hard at breathing at all, and you can allow your hands to relax in your lap.
- Now imagine there is a ball of warmth under your feet - feel it warming your feet and feel them start to relax into the warmth of the ball. Allow this ball of warmth to travel up to your ankles and feel them relax also.
- Allow the ball to travel up your calves and feel the muscles loosen as the warmth fills them; then allow it to travel up to your knees, through your thighs and hips, and focus on the warmth flooding your muscles with relaxation.
- Let the ball work its way up your spine, warming and relaxing each individual disc and making the fluid between the discs warm so that it lubricates your back and makes it feel flexible. Feel the ball spreading its warmth across your shoulders and down through your arms into your hands so that they feel heavy in your lap.
- Now feel the ball moving up to your neck, spreading the warmth up into the back of your head and allow it to stay there on the back of your neck so that the warmth and relaxation you feel throughout your body lets you relax the muscles in your face and your throat.
- Visualize all the tension from your body flowing down through your feet and into the Earth.
- Feel your whole body relaxed and heavy on the chair and, in this relaxed state, focus again on your breathing without trying to change it in any way - simply observe your breath. As you breathe in, think about calmness and serenity; as you breathe out, think about letting any tensions go from your body down through your feet into the ground.
Sit like this for as long as you're able or, preferably, for as long as seems right to you and, when you're ready, with your eyes still closed or your gaze downwards, become aware of your feet on the floor, your body on the chair and picture in your mind the room or garden around you.
Wiggle your toes and fingers gently and then gradually open your eyes and return to the scene around you.
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After the relaxation session
Clearly, when we've been in a state of deep relaxation, it's not a good idea to leap out of the chair and do anything strenuous. We need to gradually ease ourselves back into normal life and, if we've been relaxing before sleep, the next thing to do is to just get into bed and allow ourselves to drift off to sleep.
But if we're relaxing at some time during the day, it is a good idea to view the easing back into normality as a part of the relaxation process so that we gain the most benefit from the session.
Relaxation is a valid part of taking good care of ourselves - it has nothing to do with being lazy (unless, of course, you're doing it for most of the day!).
When we get used to making these sessions a routine part of our day, we will start to experience the real benefits:
- a more relaxed way of living so that we actually achieve more in our days than we did before;
- a better relationship with our selves and those around us - fewer situations irritate us and we learn to go with the flow of life more easily;
- our minds are clearer and sharper;
- we appreciate life more - the fun, the laughter, the beauty, the serenity.
Relaxation is not just an option ... it's an essential part of a balanced life. Try it and see for yourself!
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Other websites related to health and wellbeing:
www.mypembrokeshire.com
www.simplehealing.co.uk
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