||Think deeply. Speak gently.
Love much. Laugh often.
Work hard. Give freely.
Pay promptly. Be kind.
The Importance of Relationships
This article is based on a talk I gave in March 2013 to the
Alister Hardy Society for the Study of Spiritual Experience
(AHSSE) at the University of Wales Trinity Saint David, Lampeter,
In my book, Healing with the Feminine Principle, in the chapter
on Our Authentic Soul, I touch fairly briefly on building
true relationships. This talk was an expansion of that section
of the book.
The purpose of the talk (and therefore of this article) was
to offer ideas for us to think about and build on as part
of our soul’s spiritual development.
As always, with anything I talk or write about, the content
is significantly practical because it is the practical that
creates space for the spiritual within us. The material and
the practical are the vehicles for the spirit to learn and
experience, which is what we are here for. The material or
physical, emotional and spiritual are all inextricably linked.
I believe there is no purpose for the material other than
as a vehicle for our progress spiritually as a result of living
our practical lives. There is a misconception here which leads
us to put too great an emphasis on the material and this seems
to be where our current difficulties in the world arise.
But first I will describe a general overview of the masculine
and feminine principles that I have highlighted in Healing
with the Feminine Principle.
Each of us has masculine and feminine qualities, or energies,
within us regardless of our gender. The strength of each of
these qualities varies from moment to moment, hour to hour,
day to day, as it does on a global level.
The yin and yang symbol, showing the balance between these
energies has become very well-known, perhaps too well-known
so that it has become a cliché; unfortunately, there
is nothing in western symbolism that is so elegant to demonstrate
the masculine and feminine qualities within us.
The masculine (yang) quality is related to light and therefore
to the seasons of spring and summer when we have longer daylight
hours. It has an active, creative quality – it is a
fiery energy and it is the one we tap into when we are competing.
The fieriness of this energy can tip over very easily from
competition into conflict because it is such a reactive energy;
this is when we impulsively think and do things that may get
us into difficulty because we have not given them sufficient
When we tap into this energy, we tend to take everything on
face value and we engage in activities and theories that are
a means to an end – and the means do not much matter
as long as we achieve the end result!
The feminine (yin) quality, on the other hand is related more
to darkness and therefore to the seasons of autumn and winter
when we have shorter daylight hours. This energy is cool,
though not cold, and detached. If we think of the still water
of a pond, this symbolises the feminine quality within us.
When we tap into this energy, we are responsive – we
stand back and think before we do anything, using our common-sense.
The feminine quality is about nurturing and using our intuition
and inner wisdom to listen to what others need. It is a quality
that yields – and often to the masculine principle.
These two opposing, yet complementary forces consume and
transform one another in turn, which is why the balance is
In our early years, we use predominantly yang energy because
it is the creative, fiery energy we need to grow and develop;
as we go through the middle years of our lives we should have
a better balance of yin and yang energy, although this seems
increasingly not to be the case. In our later years, we have
a greater level of yin, or feminine energy having established
what we truly need materially and hopefully accumulated much
inner wisdom. In the West, we tend to resist ageing and the
Chinese say we use up too much of our yin energy in this;
we should grow old gracefully!
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The change in balance between the masculine
and feminine principles
I believe that, over the last few centuries, these two energies
have become seriously out of balance. We cannot say that this
is wrong but it has certainly not been helpful – and
there is little that is positive about it in many areas of
life. I believe we should genuinely address this issue and
do things in a different way.
Nothing progresses smoothly. If we plot our evolution on a
graph, it happens in fits and starts and one of the ways we
do this is by, what we would term, revolutions.
In Britain, in the 17th to 19th centuries, we had unprecedented
population growth and we needed to provide more food to meet
our needs. Thus there was a revolution through the mechanisation
of agriculture. In the 20th century, chemical fertilizers
and pesticides were introduced, and these are still used even
more extensively now in the 21st century. Here, we tapped
into a deeply masculine energy, deciding that they were a
means to an end: even if that meant creating further massive
problems, at least we were growing and raising the food we
During the 18th and 19th centuries, we ruthlessly exploited
our natural resources and this, too, is still ongoing, although
we are now finding that much of what we have exploited in
the past is now creating huge problems for us environmentally.
In the 20th century, the electronic revolution blasted on
to the scene and is still with us in the 21st century.
All of these revolutions were produced by the creative, fiery
masculine qualities within us all, with the feminine qualities
viewed as less important – and now we have reached our
What is reality?
Our ‘reality’ is not what most of us think it
is. A relatively small number of scientists, who are able
to think in a more creative way, are discovering that the
world is made up of energy.
Our reality is simply a huge number of bundles of vibrating
atoms in the shapes we know as physical presences –
tables, chairs, buildings, cars and so forth.
These structures are more energetic than solid – what
makes them solid is the space between the atoms, which scientists
have labelled a ‘field’. This is a simplistic
way of describing quantum science, which has sometimes been
defined as the science of what is not there!
This phenomenon is referred to in a slightly different way
in the Chinese text, the Tao Te Ching. This text describes
a potter shaping clay into some form of vessel. The benefit
is derived from what is there and the usefulness comes from
what is not – the benefit is the vessel itself but the
usefulness comes from the space in the middle.
We could describe other aspects of life in the same way, for
example, relaxation, one of the most important tools for good
health and well-being. The benefit is in allowing the time
for relaxation; the usefulness is in allowing ourselves the
stillness to just ‘be’, rather than ‘doing’,
within that time.
Life could also be described in this way. Life itself is the
benefit but what we do within that life, from birth to mortal
death, is the usefulness of it.
The reality of our bodies
Our bodies are also not solid structures but, like everything
else, bundles of energy in the shape we know as a body. The
reality is that our bodies are more water (about two-thirds
of the total) and space than solid material – and, of
course, water is also made up of atoms that are more free-flowing
than in ‘solid’ objects.
Scientists have now demonstrated that intention (through thought)
is key to bringing into being much of what most of us have
believed was impossible. The reality is that our thoughts
have a huge impact on us and the world around us, but we are
usually not aware of our influence.
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The reality of our thoughts
There is a school in the West of Ireland that has the motto:
‘The mind altering, alters all.’
This is such a wonderful theme for the education of young
minds – it allows them the freedom to think in every
direction and to know that they will be supported in feeding
their minds so that they can develop creative thoughts into
This is a particularly important aspect of our existence here
because for most of us the masculine principle has become
so assertive that our thoughts have created more solidity
in the illusion around us. We have come to believe not that
our life here and the material or physical around us is a
means to an end but that it is the end in itself – for
many, there is nothing further.
The paradox here is that our perception of the material has
increased and has been made more ‘solid’ by our
thoughts, while our perception of the power of our thoughts
has been reduced.
Everything here is made up of energy. This includes us but
we have largely lost sight of our brilliance, our spiritual
selves – even many of us who call ourselves spiritual
have not really understood this.
The route to the ‘solidity’ of
If we go back to the point when we originally came here as
souls, the only physical or material things were our bodies
and the environment. Indeed, we were, and still are, an integral
part of the planet – our bodies are made from the same
material as everything natural around us and our bodies go
back to the earth when our souls release to Spirit.
We had to be resourceful in order to survive in a physical
sense and the masculine principle excelled in creativity.
We made shelters for ourselves so that we could be as warm
and safe as possible – but we were still in touch with
nature and we worked with Mother Earth for our physical survival.
Fast forward to the last hundred years or so and we have become
further and further detached from Mother Earth and Nature
– and Spirit: we live, work and play largely within
Our experiences of Nature often happen in vehicles of one
kind or another. We spend little time walking in nature, exploring
the plants, listening to birdsong, or marvelling at the wonders
that Nature provides for us. Instead we use noisy 4-wheel
drive vehicles, motor bikes, mountain bikes – we pit
ourselves against nature.
Our relationship with the Earth has changed dramatically.
Most of us have ceased to love Mother Earth and the nature
upon her; where there is no love, there is no care, as we
are now seeing in the damage we have done over the centuries.
We take our presence here as a right; if we viewed ourselves
more as guests, we might have more care with the Earth –
currently we could be described as the guests from hell!
The most important aspect of life here
on Mother Earth
Despite all that we have created on a material level since
we originally came here, the one thing that remains just as
crucial as it was at the start is relationships.
Relationships between souls then and now are the core of our
relationship with the world. They are the basis of our survival
as a species; all our relationships have a deep and profound
effect on us as individual souls and as part of a global community.
They are a means of learning at a deep level so we need to
sustain them, but a large proportion of us tend to mistrust
one another, as we know from the words we have created, like
racism, sexism, ageism, elitism and homophobia. If we add
to the mix, those who would seek to steal from others, defraud
others, and harm others physically and emotionally, it becomes
obvious that basically, we are living in fear of one another
and what might befall us through the process of living life.
A few years ago, at a workshop, I asked everyone to write
a list of everything they feared. All the lists were collated
(anonymously) and we looked at it together afterwards. We
were all surprised by the length of the list and I have since
added to it as a result of discussions with my healing clients
about their fears. The three fears that arise time and again
are uncertainty, change and fear – these are the big
fears and many of the others arise out of these.
This is a disturbing commentary on the way we live our lives
and goes a long way to explaining why stress is at pandemic
proportions, and also perhaps why we react as we do to many
of those who govern us, who have power over us in all areas
If we are to resolve many of our current crises in health
and social care, politics, finance – in fact, in every
aspect of life – I believe we have to change the way
we engage in all our relationships.
We have tried just about every other solution to our problems
and they have not worked. We have tinkered around the edges
of changing the way we approach life but I believe it requires
us to be much more radical – and it is much more urgent
than we might think.
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The way we relate to one another
Everyone has a persona that they project out into the world;
it is the way we want to be perceived by others. It is the
‘mask’ we all wear. Some people’s masks
are very thick, almost impenetrable; others are a thin veneer.
Others are on all points between these two extremes. But most
of us would not sense this because we have lost the knack
of seeing beyond the mask – in fact, we have lost interest
in others for its own sake. We are self-absorbed. Most of
us take people on face value – the habit of masculine
In general, we no longer communicate with one another soul-to-soul,
we tend to communicate more commonly mask-to-mask, not wishing
to look beyond those masks. And yet, each soul is a mine of
information and experience that we can learn from and this
is part of our spiritual learning – but we have to be
paying attention to become aware of this.
When we let the mask drop away, the face can reflect the presence
of the soul within. Everything that has happened in a life
is etched on the face as we get older – in the lines,
the curve of the mouth, the shape of the face, the softness
or hardness of the eyes. When all aspects of the face are
brought together they show us the expression of that individual
life; the atmosphere, feeling and thoughts of that individual’s
life. It is a visible presence – if we choose to notice.
The way we walk, how we stand, how we use our bodies all tell
us a huge amount about a person. The way someone uses their
hands tells us a lot about them. If they snatch at things,
if they grab them, it is often the way they live their life.
If they touch things gently, or even caress them, they are
often of a sensitive nature.
These traits are demonstrated in the many tasks we undertake
in a day but if we have too much mechanisation or electronic
gadgetry, much of that information is lost because we only
have to press buttons.
The practise of writing enables us to form the letters more
clearly and beautifully. We can tell a great deal from someone’s
handwriting; if we spend too much time on a keyboard, this
skill is lost very largely. How we write, how we express ourselves
in writing, and verbally, speaks volumes about us as souls
and, if we are paying attention, it enables us to communicate
more openly with one another to improve our relationships.
This so important because each of us is a beautiful spark
of the Source – we are inextricably linked one soul
to another and to our originating Source.
We cannot gather much that is meaningful during a lifetime
to take back to the Source, in order to enrich the whole,
if we are not focusing and participating fully in all our
When we begin again to communicate in harmony with our souls,
I believe this will go a long way to resolving the difficulties
of the world.
Currently, we all have a degree of mental and physical awareness
of one another. We have worked tirelessly on this for centuries
now – dealing with what is in front of us but we still
do not focus too closely on whatever has taken our attention.
We are usually thinking about the past and regretting many
things, or worrying about what may come back to bite us in
the near future. Or we are thinking about what we are going
to do or, more likely, acquire next. This is happening often
whilst we are doing two other things at the same time.
Focusing fully on what is directly in front of us or who we
are interacting with, and nothing else, is what creates better
relationships and better memories. When we focus fully on
something or someone, we are engaging energetically.
Energy is never lost – it can only be transformed. We
may not own something now that we did in the past, but that
does not mean it no longer exists. Depending on how focused
we were at the time and our ability to recall memories of
events, we can mentally go back to a time and place to feel
and experience an event once again. By doing this, the event
becomes part of us and it is not lost.
Memories are treasures that can be retained for further pleasure
at a later date – individually and, more importantly,
by sharing with others to enhance our relationships. Many
very old people find it upsetting that most of the souls with
whom they shared their youth have passed over to Spirit. They
have no one with whom they can talk about shared memories
and this often makes them feel as if they are on the periphery
It takes about eight seconds to transfer to our long-term
memory something we are focusing on in the moment –
many of us cannot even concentrate for that long!
Children, of course, find retaining memories much easier.
They have little past to remember and they do not have the
experience to be able to speculate on the future. I believe
this has a great bearing on why older people remember their
youth better than what happened last week. When they were
children, they were fully focusing in the present; this is
often not the case now, perhaps because they are trying to
shut out a changing world.
The only way to cope with the faster pace of life and information
overload we perceive we now experience is to focus on as much
as we can in the present moment, take it all in and improve
our filtering system for retaining what we know we will need
and discarding the dross. And the information we retain includes
that which we obtain through focusing on all those with whom
we come into contact – this is the most crucial area
because we are exchanging energy with everyone we interact
There is no relationship that is so trivial we have no need
to focus on it – we pay attention as much out of respect
for whoever we are interacting with as for gaining information.
Thoughts, emotions and health
Scientists have now established that there is a two-way communication
between our thoughts and every cell in the body.
In my healing work, I find that most of those who come to
me have emotional difficulties which have helped create their
ill health. I am not suggesting that every illness is caused
by our thoughts and emotions but it is very often the case.
These same people have very limited spiritual awareness and
they also have difficulties with relationships.
Spiritual and emotional awareness are bound up in one another
and in our relationships – soul-to-soul communication
can reduce or even eradicate fear and mistrust, which are
two strong emotions that can cause ill health.
Fully opening to the soul in a human body, and allowing those
two entities to have mutual respect, gives us a fuller and
more rounded sense of who we are and to gather more insight
into other souls.
So, I believe we have a mountain to climb here to bring us
back to soul-to-soul contact as a routine part of life. And,
at present, we seem to be doing many things in the most difficult
For example, using as much electronic communication as we
are currently, often almost to the exclusion of face-to-face
contact, means that we are missing out on the other languages
that we use – those of the body and the intonation of
voice. It is far more difficult to assess how someone really
feels when we use electronic communication and we can be far
more abrupt and rude when we do not have to communicate with
We stay at home a great deal more for our entertainment, often
through electronic interfaces, like TVs and games consoles.
This limits our opportunities for wider interactions with
more souls to give us experiences from which we can learn.
Our everyday personal and business transactions are much more
complex than they have ever been and, for the growing elderly
population, this can cause great distress but even for younger
people it can make life much more complicated than it needs
The way we engage in intimate relationships has changed dramatically.
The speed and order in which we pursue this kind of relationship
now means that we have already moved in with someone and probably
had children before we have got to know them. Nurturing children,
or just having them living with us even if we choose not to
nurture them, requires a great deal of time and emotional
effort; it is almost impossible to get to know a partner when
we have this level of distraction.
Consequently, these relationships are breaking down much more
quickly and the whole situation is much more complex because
it involves a large circle of other souls and, most importantly,
impacts on the children in an intense way. Getting to know
someone before moving in with them and having children means
that if the relationship proves not to be viable, it is a
simple process to simply call a halt to it and walk away with
little effect on anyone else.
As a teenager in the 1960s, I agonized over how we were treating
one another and what we were doing to the Earth, to the point
where I actually lost sleep worrying about it. I talked about
this to someone I knew who I would describe as a very wise
She was very blunt with me and told me that I could agonize
all I liked but I was not actually helping the situation practically
and that there was a solution to it. She told me that I needed
to keep my little patch of the world right by thinking and
acting in a way that I knew I would be able to look back on
comfortably. I needed to work at relating to everyone positively
and constructively. She went on to say that if everyone did
that, those little patches would eventually join up and things
would get better but she warned it would be a painfully slow
process – and she was not wrong!
There will always be those who will try to wage war and disrupt
all the good that any of us does but I believe it will gradually
become more difficult to do this as more and more of those
patches join up.
I have kept to this philosophy as far as possible for the
whole of my life. The occasions when I have forgotten and
allowed people to provoke me are etched in my memory as ‘cringe
moments’ and I try very hard not to give them thought
energy, having learned from them and moved on.
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The grand scale vs the smaller scale
So, in all our relationships basically we need to follow
something that has been around forever:
The Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like them to treat
But even this is problematic. The creative masculine principle
has now brought us to the point where everything has to be
big. When things are big they become impersonal and the feminine
principle has more difficulty in surviving and thriving.
Our relationship with money is now fraught because sums of
money are made and lost now that are so big we cannot imagine
them as coins and notes. In one way, money has less value
now than ever; in another way, it is the most powerful motivator
for many people. Material possessions mean everything because
the means to thrive and survive has become an end in itself.
We have lost sight of the fact that money is simply a symbol
of the exchange of energy between souls for goods and services.
When we deal with one another soul-to-soul, our relationship
with money changes as does the value we place on those souls
with whom we are interacting.
We are now so cynical about the providers of goods and services
that we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that supermarkets
and stores are only interested in profit. Companies try to
deceive us into thinking they are offering us great service
– but we know they only offer us enough to make us spend
And this is all because everything is on a grand scale. Bringing
it back to a local level gives us a greater opportunity to
deal with one another soul-to-soul. You cannot deal with your
local supermarket manager on a soul-to-soul basis –
it is impractical and he or she would not be interested anyway.
The recent horsemeat scandal shows the danger of the grand
scale in the food industry. It has become clear that we now
have massively complex food supply chains which make monitoring
almost impossible. Tapping into the feminine principle means
we nurture ourselves by keeping our food local and safer;
we engage in creating meals rather than buying ready-prepared
food and make it part of the ritual of eating together.
And most importantly, the feminine principle enables us to
treat local suppliers with the respect we would wish to be
treated. We can try to get to know them so that we improve
our relationship with them and help them reciprocate. This
cannot happen on the grand scale.
Our schools, universities, hospitals and other public services
are operated on such a large scale as commercial businesses
now rather than as services that the souls who use them no
longer feel they receive personal attention. Each client is
simply a commodity – just one soul in a sea of unfeeling
Governments are alarmed to find that many more souls are now
living alone which is another factor in the current housing
crisis. We often hear the comment that it is so easy to be
lonely in the midst of a crowd. Soul-to-soul interaction would
help to alleviate this.
Soul-to-soul communication would take the mistrust and fear
out of international negotiations so that we could all work
towards the same end of taking care of ourselves only in harmony
with taking care of the Earth.
We would never exploit any resource without knowing how we
could deal safely with whatever residue it leaves on the Earth;
and if we could not find a safe way of doing that, we would
not use it at all. This would be the top priority of our scientists
and engineers because soul-to-soul communication would necessitate
thinking much more about the impact of whatever they develop
on other souls.
We would have a greater chance of avoiding wars because we
would understand that all of the Earth’s resources are
here for us to use during our very temporary existence here;
they belong to no one and to everyone. We cannot make war
with other souls when we are content and happy with our lives
– soul-to-soul interaction would help bring this about.
Soul-to-soul interaction in personal relationships
The biggest area where soul-to-soul connectivity would make
the most difference – because it is where it starts
– would be in our personal relationships with our family,
friends and close circle.
Intimate partnerships are much more transient now –
2 to 5 years in a relationship is viewed as long-term. One
of the reasons for this I believe is that we are not thinking
in terms of our partners as true soul-mates in most cases.
Soul-mates are simply best friends who have penetrated the
masks and that is what a partner has to be – when the
excitement of the physical reduces, we have to have something
to sustain a relationship. Having your partner as your best
and truest friend is the greatest relationship there is.
Because we are not embracing soul-to-soul relationships, we
delude ourselves that the lives of our children are unaffected
by the break-up of their parents’ relationship when
deep inside we know it is the case. There is always some good
that comes out of every situation but most of the emotions
surrounding such a heart-breaking time are negative and continue
to be so for many.
Soul-to-soul relationships also give us the will to try to
understand our children and get a better quality of interaction
with them that will last for the whole of this lifetime with
them. It also helps our children to understand our concerns
and our love for them which sometimes necessitates courses
of action that seem harsh or heartless to them. If we communicate
with them soul-to-soul, it reduces the likelihood of rifts
within families – and this applies to all family relationships.
Soul-to-soul relationships enable us to support one another
in all situations, from someone in our close circle, to work
colleagues, to someone we meet fleetingly. Even our fleeting
relationships are important though clearly not as intense.
If we balance the masculine and feminine qualities in this
arena of relationships, the ripples go out to affect every
other area in life. This is where it begins. Someone who has
a close and loving relationship with their intimate circle
usually has better relationships with everyone else they come
into contact with, or at least they have better strategies
and tools for dealing with difficult relationships more effectively.
For many people, learning again to treat those close to them
with the love and respect they would like to receive would
change them out of all recognition and change their interactions
with everyone else in their lives.
Our need to belong
We are all little bundles of emotional frailty – even
those we perceive to be strong, as a result of their impenetrable
masks, have numerous areas of themselves that are obstacles
to their feeling truly comfortable with other souls. These
are also obstacles to enlarging their inner wisdom. The mask
of the strong person gets in the way of their learning.
It is the human condition to want to belong in some way during
our time here on the Earth sphere. Everything we do is targeted
towards the ultimate goal of feeling a sense of belonging
– not just fitting in and compromising at all costs
but a sense of actually feeling comfortable with our visit
here. The feeling of belonging is something we are all always
seeking in whatever we do.
Reading the last few paragraphs of this article may have given
you the feeling that you would like to tell me how naïve
it all sounds and how soul-to-soul relationships cannot possibly
be viable in today’s world, but the logic of my thoughts
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The easy route or the more difficult route
For centuries our growing cynicism in all our relationships
has led us to feeling more suspicious of one another, fighting
more wars, given us shorter, less satisfying personal relationships,
created protectionism, judgement and criticism of one another
to make ourselves feel better or superior, leading to elitism
and fear, and many more emotions that are difficult to live
I would suggest this demonstrates very fully the deeply unbalanced
society we now have; one that is so entrenched in the masculine
principle, particularly that of simply reacting without thought
to others’ words.
I genuinely believe we come here to try to learn and experience
in a way that enhances the Earth sphere in a spirit of love
and co-operation, not in a way to damage or disrespect it.
Successive generations have just spiralled down into a deeper
forgetting of that purpose and cynical exploitation of their
fellow travellers on this journey.
Many people might say, ‘But we need challenges in life
– we need conflict to make life interesting.’
I believe that it is far more challenging, and ultimately
more satisfying, to work out our differences lovingly and
peacefully – and perhaps that is why we avoid it.
Deep inside we know it is far easier to fight wars, damaging
and annihilating everything other souls have worked so hard
to create, including lives and relationships. A pivotal minority
have little interest in taking the more courageous path that
requires more thought about how to resolve differences –
ultimately using a greater intellectual and emotional capacity.
This forgetting has brought us to our current point and we
will not be able to retrieve the situation and resolve our
global economic and environmental crises with the same attitude
as we got into them.
Just as we have to change our way of living to resolve a cancer
because we cannot resolve it with the same lifestyle with
which we created it, so, I would suggest, we have to change
our way of thinking about life and by so doing bring a better
balance of masculine and feminine energies to the world to
resolve our difficulties.
A ‘spiritual shift’
I keep hearing about a ‘shift in energy’, a ‘spiritual
shift’ that is taking place and is going to sort everything
out. I have been hearing about it for years from those who
claim to have some special connection with those in Spirit
and receive messages from them.
It is interesting that those who have near-death experiences
never return to tell us that this ‘shift’ is actually
taking place. On the contrary, they tell us more about how
we need to change the way we think and view the world.
This ‘shift’ is often talked of as if it is something
some other power is going to do for us; that it’s effectively
outside of ourselves. It is not. The responsibility is ours
and we have to take it on joyously and passionately.
There will be no ‘shift’ until we make it happen.
What many souls talk about is yet another illusion –
or delusion. It seems to be a means to an end to keep us in
perpetual hope without having to actually do anything productive
to bring it about.
Our connection and our reconnection
The only realities on this planet are our souls, and the
interactive connection between souls and with the Source.
Most souls are loving and compassionate – but as with
all things, it only takes a minority that has great will and
strength (and therefore hugely powerful thoughts) to tip the
balance over and then a larger number of souls will follow
on. That can work for good or not so good – the choice
Everything is tangled up together – what we do to ourselves,
we do to other souls and to the planet because we are constantly
exchanging energy with one another as a result of our relationships.
Because of that entanglement, good relationships offer us
unending joy and fulfilment. There is nothing so wonderful
as spending time with someone, learning about them, trying
to understand their viewpoints (even if we disagree with them),
eating with them, exchanging banter and afterwards feeling
the satisfaction and warmth of a happy, enjoyable and honest
interaction with the masks off.
And this can be with strangers – but perhaps we should
be starting with our close circle. We can never know everything
that goes on in another’s head but currently because
we are communicating with the masks, we probably know much
less about the people we are close to than we think.
Listening with the nurturing feminine principle means that
we respond more sensitively to others and this encourages
them to be more open with us. You need never have another
boring conversation all the while you are looking for opportunities
to see behind the mask and to communicate from the heart and
I believe we have to make a radical change in our thinking
so that we will understand the joy of the responsibility we
have to every soul and everything else on this planet. Soul-to-soul
relationships are the only way this will happen and the only
way to heighten our enjoyment of our short time on this planet.
One last thought for you to ponder on in the coming days:
I believe we are much closer to bringing about the destruction
of the planet than we realise; but equally, I think we are
closer to finding a resolution to our problems than we believe
– if we could just allow ourselves to understand and
believe in the power of our thoughts to bring that about.
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Ten Top Tips for Healing Ourselves
Written by Jenny Jones
(that don’t include advice on food,
exercise, drugs, tobacco and alcohol !!!)
The Breath of Life
2. The awesome power of thought
3. Living in the present
4. Accepting our bodies
9. Life as a series of experiments
10. Healing the world
We have access to a large number of organizations and individuals
we can contact when we have a health imbalance or even if
we are just lacking in energy. We can also access lots of
information about how to keep ourselves healthy through diet,
exercise, recreation, reducing our alcohol intake, avoiding
tobacco products, and much more. All of this is useful and
valid if we wish to keep ourselves healthy.
But there are other aspects to maintaining a healthy body
and mind that are often not covered in the information about
health that is available to us. These are issues that may,
at first glance, seem irrelevant but they are often the most
important factors in achieving a good quality of life.
Before we think about specific issues that help us to heal
ourselves, we need to have a basic respect for our body. The
body is a wonderful creation that is resilient and responsive
so much of the time. It often takes a long time for the body
to succumb to our ill treatment of it, whether we are aware
of what we are doing or not. Even prescription drugs taken
for a health imbalance when it manifests in our body can cause
serious side effects that, in some cases, create more imbalances
than they resolve!
The one fact that we have to keep in mind is that our body
has to last us for the whole of this lifetime so we have to
treat it with respect if it is to remain in as good a condition
as possible until we no longer need it. If we are not prepared
to do this, and accept that this usually means a very poor
quality of life in old age, then it’s fine because it's
our choice. Many of us want to party until we drop when we’re
young and then live a serene and healthy life in old age –
but for most of us that’s an impossible dream!
The following tips are the result of working with many people
on their healing, my research on healing and how the body
responds to our treatment of it, whether that treatment is
good or not so good.
1. The Breath of Life
Breathing is an automatic response for all of us –
if we don’t breathe, we die. But it’s the way
we breathe that is so vital to improved health for all of
Breathing efficiently is the first and essential practice
for self-healing. On a physical level, breathing effectively
allows oxygen to penetrate every cell in the body so that
these cells can work at optimum efficiency. At an emotional
level, breathing deeply and easily brings us a sense of peace
and calm, and makes it easier for us to cope with life generally.
Take a couple of deep breaths now and breathe out with a big
sigh – feel the renewed sense of calm that this brings.
To find out more about how to breathe more effectively, click
Breathing through the belly area maintains calm because it
is very difficult to be tense when we are expanding and contracting
the muscles here, so it is a good exercise to remember when
we start to become tense for whatever reason. Focusing on
how we breathe takes our attention away from the tension,
gives clarity of thought and a greater sense of calm.
Back to the top
2. The awesome power of thought
Everything is energy – all the objects around us that
look so solid are, in fact, bundles of molecules and particles
vibrating with energy. We ourselves are individual masses
ofvibrating light. Nothing is static; everything is constantly
on the move and full of energy.
Thought is no different – it is energy. And every cell
in the body is responding to our thought energy. The power
contained in this phenomenon is vital to our health and well-being.
If we visualise our own individual body as unhealthy and diseased,
this is the message we are sending to our cells and they will
respond to comply with this picture. If, on the other hand,
we visualise our body as healthy and whole and we live our
lives through this visualisation, our cells will receive this
positive message and respond healthily.
Even if we are currently experiencing ill health in the form
of one of the numerous chronic diseases that are so prevalent,
we can improve our health. It takes many years to create a
chronic disease in the body so it may not be possible to heal
ourselves completely of such a well-entrenched imbalance.
However, we can improve the quality of our lives by our thoughts
and help ourselves to cope better with these diseases.
But thought energy doesn’t just help with chronic diseases,
it can improve, speed up the healing or even heal completely
less serious conditions, such as colds and flu, headaches
and skin complaints. We just have to visualise our bodies
as whole and healthy and allow that picture to guide us as
to the actions we take to bring ourselves back to fitness.
What we focus on is attracted to us, so maintaining healthy
thoughts about ourselves is vital to our ability to heal ourselves
of whatever ails us.
Thought energy can be equally effective when we think about
other souls who have health imbalances or emotional issues.
Again, we only allow thoughts of them that give us a picture
of health because every single thought or word is an energy
that goes out into the universe and affects everyone and everything
on the planet. Repeated destructive or negative thoughts cause
This is equally important in healing the planet. There are
many people around the globe who are holding a picture of
Mother Earth in their minds as a planet of balance and harmony,
in the environment and the people that inhabit it.
The power of our thought energy is a great responsibility
for each and every one of us both in terms of how we influence
our own behaviour and how we impact on others.
Our thoughts create the quality of our lives – we really
can think ourselves healthier than we currently are. The choice
Back to the top
3. Living in the present
Many people – and particularly younger people, surprisingly
– talk about how poor their memory is. This may well
be due to the fact that they are not concentrating on each
moment as it happens – how can you remember anything
if you’re not taking it in at the time? We all have
a selective memory but that is very different to having a
Living in the moment allows us to focus fully on each activity
so that we do everything much more thoroughly and learn new
activities more easily. Giving part of our attention to anything
does not lead to quality actions or outcomes.
We also give our full attention to those around us, affording
them the respect they deserve just as we deserve their full
attention. Our loved ones would benefit greatly from our full
attention more often – particularly our children who
often miss out on our time and interest because we are rushing
off to the next thing. And that next activity is just one
more on which we will probably not focus fully!
People who live in the present for most of the time enjoy
life so much more and are therefore much healthier –
life is to be enjoyed, not to be endured!
There is no point in living in the past or the future –
one has passed and the other is completely unknown. And the
present is fleeting – what you were thinking a moment
ago is now in the past; that is how fleeting it is. For most
of the time the present moment is good and if it is not, it
lasts such a short time that it is not really a problem.
Back to the top
4. Accepting (and preferably loving) our bodies
Most of the things we perceive to be wrong with our bodies
are as a result of our abuse of it – they are our responsibility.
The body that has to last us the whole of our life needs to
be nourished with healthy food, fluid, sleep, rest, recreation
This is not difficult if we listen to our bodies when the
cells communicate with us. If we experience pain, we usually
stop doing whatever is causing us the pain. So if we find
that something we put into our body is causing us pain, discomfort,
indigestion, joint pain or any other difficulty, we simply
need to avoid that substance, whether it is food, alcohol
or drugs. We need to be kind to our bodies – but it
is a choice!
Every cell in the body is responding to whatever thoughts
we allow ourselves to have. If we constantly regard our body
as ‘not good enough’ either in appearance or function,
our cells will respond by creating a body that is always falling
short of our wishes – but not our expectations! If,
on the other hand, we view the body as fit, healthy, attractive
and able to cope with whatever we need it to do for us, the
cells will respond positively and co-operate with us to bring
this into reality. It really is a case of being careful what
you wish for!
Back to the top
Throughout our lives we usually find that we perceive that
many people harm us by what they say and do; equally, of course,
we do the same to others. The majority of people who seek
healing have been harbouring angry, resentful, or painful
feelings asa result of these situations, directed at others
and at themselves.
Forgiveness is a very effective healer. We all need to let
go of the emotions that arise when we remember these situations
and, better still, move on in our lives by choosing not to
remember them at all, having forgiven ourselves and others
for whatever was said or done.
Letting go of these emotions also allows the person to whom
they are directed to move on – that thought energy will
be doing its work if we hold on to grudges, although our target
may not be aware of it! In many cases the person we feel has
treated us badly in thought, word or deed is not even aware
of it. So, while we are going over and over a situation and
getting more and more angry and resentful, they are often
blissfully unaware of our distress. This means that the only
person suffering as a result of this perceived ill treatment
is us! What a waste of energy!
Planet Earth is not an easy place to live so we have to remember
Everyone does the best with the knowledge,
wisdom and experiencethey have at any given moment.
Remembering this helps us to forgive others more readily.
It also helps us to forgive ourselves because our own actions
can often cause us greater distress than those of others.
We can beat ourselves up for years about something that would
probably seem trivial to others. It is almost impossible to
forgive others effectively if we cannot forgive ourselves
for our own actions. Lighten up by learning from the situation,
letting go of the burden and moving on! We are all only human
and we’re all learning every day – that’s
what we’re here for!
Back to the top
We are all so very lucky, even when we think we are not.
Most of us in the western world live an extraordinarily privileged
existence. Pardoxically, those who are not so fortunate are
often much more grateful for the few good things they have
in their lives than those who have so much.
There are many jokes about this next suggestion, and it may
seem trivial, but counting our blessings and being grateful
for them before we sleep can be a great healer. A significant
number of people who seek healing have no insight into their
own blessings and often experience ill health as a result.
Their anger, resentment, envy and dissatisfaction eat away
inside of them and can create health imbalances that may be
impossible to resolve because of their attitude to life. Their
interaction with their cells is far from healthy!
At the very least, thinking happy thoughts last thing at
night will help us to sleep better. Trying to sleep when we
are holding on to negative and destructive emotions can be
Back to the top
Being grateful often leads us on to become more generous.
Whatever we have or have not, being generous with everything
in our lives helps us to focus on something other than ourselves
for a while. And this is not about money necessarily, although
financial generosity is valid as a way of passing on positive
and creative energy to others. But it’s equally valid
and helpful to be generous with our time, our patience, our
encouragement, our willingness to help and our creative thoughts
about others rather than always thinking the worst first.
Being generous with our love is one of the greatest healers.
Unconditional love is vital to all of us – and this
is not a sentimental love. It is a practical love. Unconditional
love embraces all of the suggestions above and anything else
you can think of.
It is easy to show our close family and friends unconditional
love, although that is not always the case for some souls.
But it is much more difficult to demonstrate such love to
those we don’t know as well, or perhaps not at all.
Read the paragraphs about Forgiveness above and the nature
of unconditional love becomes clearer. Those families who
have lost loved ones during wars and terrorism, and who forgive
the perpetrators of these atrocities as soon as they possibly
can because they wish to bring peace, understanding and love
to the world, are a wonderful example to us all. Anyone who
can forgive such dreadful acts is a very special soul.
They have learned to separate the individual from the deed.
They understand, knowingly or unknowingly, that we are all
here to learn and that some souls find the learning more of
a struggle than others. We are all from the one Source so
we must try always to be generous in our opinion of others,
knowing that they are doing the best they can with what they
If we were all to learn to give unconditional love to everyone
and everything on the planet, there probably would be very
little illness and certainly less, if any, violence and war.
But it is not easy and, if it were, it would not be, what
I believe is, the ultimate meaning of our lives here on Mother
Earth. It takes understanding, willingness and courage to
be able to offer unconditional love to all souls.
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8. Being (instead of doing)
Activity in the world is speeding up and we are all feeling
the pressure that this creates. If we are not engaged in some
form of activity, we seem to feel we are wasting our time,
but this is a fallacy. Taking time to sit quietly and go into
deep relaxation every day for 10 to 20 minutes is a very effective
healer and gives us more energy to accomplish the tasks of
Twenty minutes of deep and complete relaxation is equivalent
to two hours sleep, although it should never be used as a
substitute for our full quota of sleep each night.
Sleep is not necessarily the time when we are at our most
relaxed. If we think of those who, as they sleep, grind their
teeth, talk, walk, move around excessively in bed or wake
several times in the night, it becomes obvious how little
deep relaxation sleep can bring.
During deep and complete relaxation we allow our thoughts
to flow through our minds but do not follow them with further
thoughts other than checking that each part of the body is
fully relaxed. (See Relaxation)
If we can do this once – or perhaps even twice –
a day, we will start to feel the benefits in a short time.
The mind becomes clearer. We can concentrate more easily and
for longer. We become less irritable, calmer and more at peace
with the world.
If we have a health problem, this may well improve and, giving
ourselves this time for ourselves, can improve the immune
and other systems in the body. Blood pressure can also be
We are giving ourselves a greater chance of being generally
more healthy and alert, less tired and more serene. We give
the body a chance to regenerate so that it can operate at
a higher level of efficiency and effectiveness.
Back to the top
9. Life as a series of experiments
I believe that we come here to learn and that every experience
is like an experiment from which we can learn. Scientists
are detached from their experimentation so that they can gain
the most insights from them. Without losing our compassion
or love for life and other souls, we can do the same with
our own experiences.
This may be difficult for some people to accept because it
may seem as if I’m suggesting we stop caring about our
lives and others around us. But when we take a step back from
our lives – detach at some level – we are able
to be much more objective about what is happening and what
we truly desire in our lives.
Viewing life in this way can take the ‘sting’
out of the unpleasant events in our lives and we can live
more effectively and without the stress of taking everything
personally, because most of what happens to us is not necessarily
aimed at us personally but is just available to us to learn
Concentrating more on what we can learn rather than how dreadful
we find the actual events can offer great healing and can
help us to avoid uncomfortable situations in the future.
Together with living in the present, detaching to a certain
degree from the emotional roller-coaster that life can become
also allows us a greater capacity for being true to ourselves
in all that we think, say and do. We can give ourselves the
space to be able to decide what, in fact, is being true to
ourselves, which offers a calmer and more harmonious way of
Back to the top
10. Healing the world
We are not separate from each other or from the rest of the
flora and fauna on the planet. How we think and live has a
direct impact on everyone and everything around us whether
we accept it or not.
Whilst we are focusing on healing ourselves, the suggestions
above will also help us to heal those around us. We are all
inextricably linked with one another and with the Source –
whatever we do to ourselves, we do to every other soul on
the planet. If we are behaving in a creative, rather than
a destructive way, in all our thoughts, words and deeds, this
benefits us – but the spin-off is that it also influences
and benefits everyone else.
Equally, if we consciously work to heal Mother Earth, this
can also have a beneficial effect on us and everyone else.
Everyone can make a difference by sending out creative and
positive thoughts and words into the world as often as possible.
Before sleep at night, turning our thoughts to a vision of
the planet as whole and healthy with peaceful and loving inhabitants
will eventually help to make that happen. We have tried the
other way and it has been a failure so what have we got to
lose by thinking in a different way? We can all be peace warriors,
regardless of our age, ability or state of health.
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Dying, Death and Bereavement
Written by Jenny Jones
There are no limits to how spiritual healing can help us.
We do not have to have a specific illness or condition that
we wish to have resolved; experience has shown that healing
works equally well on emotional challenges and indeed this
is the origin of many of our health challenges.
Healing into death
You may have read in other places on this website and elsewhere
that the healing energies help to calm our emotions and to
give us greater clarity to deal with whatever health or other
challenge comes our way. When a healer is asked to channel
healing to someone with a terminal illness, the benefit of
the healing lies in the effect it has on our ability to accept
our illness, to make our final years, months, weeks or days
more serene and calm and to ease our passing, or death as
many people prefer to call it.
Many people who receive healing just before their passing
make peace with themselves and those around them, often after
years of turmoil, discontent and disharmony. So it is never
a waste of time to request healing at this time - distant
or hands on. The healing can also help to ease the pain that
some suffer at the end of their lives because of their illness.
Loved ones and others who are left behind find it much easier
to accept a passing that is accomplished without torment
Our beliefs about what happens after
our physical body wears out and gives up can be crucial
in how well we cope with our own passing and that of
someone close to us. My personal belief is that our
soul does go on and that dying is a great deal easier
than being born, from a physical and emotional point
of view. Birth is a very traumatic event for both infant
and mother - this trauma can be reduced by the environment
in which it happens and the support mother and baby
receive from others but it is nevertheless a dramatic
When we pass over, I believe we simply drift back easily
to the source from which we originated, and reports of 'near-death
experiences' support this view. I believe that returning to
Spirit is a homecoming to our true home, having lived a life
of learning lessons that encourage our personal spiritual
and emotional growth, which serves to support all other souls,
incarnate and disincarnate.
This may not help some of us who cannot accept that this
could be the case - and they are entitled to their opinion,
which I respect. However, the following poem was sent to Sheila
Hancock after John Thaw's death and it was reproduced in her
book about him. I think that it could be a great comfort to
many in their grief after the loss of someone close to them.
You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he’ll come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he’s left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love you shared.
Or you can be happy for tomorrow and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he’d want.
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.
Back to the top
Healing for the bereaved
Healing can, of course, also be of great benefit to the bereaved,
whether it's the loss of another soul, a much-loved animal,
a job, during divorce, a home, a limb, an ability, or anything
else. We grieve over the loss of many things other than those
we love because we give of ourselves in many different ways
so that any loss will be distressing to us.
||Grieving for anything is a natural process
and one that we have to go through but it is our choice
as to how we respond to it, like any other situation.
It cannot be rushed; there are no shortcuts. We have to
allow ourselves to feel the emotions that naturally arise
one by one until we reach a point where we have not forgotten
our loss but we remember them (or it) with affection and
gratitude for what they brought to our lives and the lessons
they helped us to learn.
This acceptance of our loss often happens without our awareness
- we just realise one day, perhaps on waking in the morning
or when we're doing something totally unrelated to our loss,
that we have accepted it and moved on.
Spiritual healing can often help to ease the pain of loss
and gives us greater clarity about our relationships, both
with those who have passed over and those who are still with
us. It allows us space to grieve in a constructive and creative
way, making it another experience that we learn from. We can
keep the soul who has disincarnated close to our hearts so
that we can add to our emotional foundations and use this
strength to help us to live our lives from that point in a
slightly (or perhaps radically) different way.
This doesn't mean that, during the healing session, we become
very emotional, although that can happen with many people
and it is often a relief to be able to release those emotions
with someone unconnected with our family and friends. Frequently,
however, people find that the release comes later when they
are alone - and this release can often have a different 'feel'
to it than any emotion they have felt before. It can be like
a cleansing that helps us to release the deepest emotions
that we have not been able to let go of up to that point.
|Spiritual healing can offer great calmness
and serenity in dying, death and bereavement. It is a
natural way of dealing with natural situations so that
our loss does not become a focus for our lives for longer
than it has to.
|I believe we are here to enjoy our short
stay here on the Earth plane with the tragedy, loss and
disappointment being the dark side that helps us to appreciate
the light. We are not here to wallow in destruction, pain,
anger and self-pity - what would be the point? When we
focus on our serenity and contentment we are much more
open to the joyous part of life, the creative side of
our lives, and the love and acceptance that we can have
for ourselves and others.
For many people, this can translate into setting up trusts and
charities in the name of the person they have lost to try and
improve the lives of others, and this is a wonderfully creative
way of dealing with loss. But it's not for everyone; others
need to come to terms with their grief in a quieter, less public
way. But healing can help, whichever route we choose to experiencing
all that life has to offer once again.
This poem is from the book, ‘The Smoke Jumper’
by Nicholas Evans, and it gives a really creative view of
If I be the first of us to die,
Let grief not blacken long your sky.
Be bold yet modest in your grieving.
There is change but not a leaving.
For just as death is part of life,
The dead live on forever in the living.
For all the gathered riches of our journey,
The moments shared, the mysteries explored,
The steady layer of intimacy stored,
The things that made us laugh or weep or sing,
The joy of sunlit snow or first unfurling of the spring,
The wordless language of look and touch,
Each giving and each taking,
These are not flowers that fade,
Nor trees that fall and crumble,
Nor are they stone
For even stone cannot the wind and rain withstand
And mighty mountain peaks in time reduce to sand.
What we were, we are.
What we had, we have.
A conjoined past imperishably present.
So when you walk the woods where once we walked together
And scan in vain the dappled bank beside you for my shadow,
Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across
And spotting something, reach by habit for my hand,
And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you.
Close your eyes.
Listen for my footfall in your heart.
I am not gone but merely walk within you.
Back to the top
Written by Jenny Jones
This article is based on a free lecture Jenny gave at the
Vision For Living Health Show in Cardiff on 19 April 2008.
Everything is made up of energy. Everything material - all
our possessions, the buildings we live and work in, the vehicles
we drive - is simply a mass of vibrating particles and atoms.
Our physical bodies can be viewed as bundles of light energy,
seen as solid on the Earth plane.
Energy cannot be destroyed but it can be transformed, and
energy is infinite. So, if we feel we have little or no energy
for most of the time, it's either because we are allowing
our energy to drain away before we've used it effectively,
or because have a health imbalance - often brought about by
allowing our energy to drain away.
The more energy we use, the more becomes available to us,
so the phrase 'use it or lose it' means a great deal in this
context. We know that, from a physical point of view, if we
are feeling tired (but not completely exhausted), doing something
physical like a brisk walk, gentle jogging, swimming or cycling,
makes us feel energized afterwards. Energy is there for us
to use if we choose to.
One of the greatest ways to expand our energy is to relax
deeply. Allowing ourselves between 5 and 20 minutes once a
day (or preferably twice a day) to really relax has a huge
effect on the way we respond to the events in our lives. It
is a wonderful investment of time to commit ourselves to focused
relaxation on a regular basis.
The relaxation exercise that follows can give you the type
of deep relaxation that is so beneficial, and which can lead
into meditation if you wish, but relaxation is the main focus
here. You need to find yourself a time and place each day
where you will not be disturbed by anything and allow yourself
this vital re-energizing session. If we do this on a regular
basis, those we live with soon accept that it is 'our time'
and leave us alone - but only if they can see that we are
deeply committed to the practice!
Sit in a comfortable upright chair and push your bottom into
the back of the seat and allow the back of the chair to support
With your feet flat on the floor to keep you balanced, place
your hands loosely in your lap or flat on your thighs.
Close your eyes, if you can, or if not direct your gaze downwards
to a point a few inches in front of your knees.
Take a few deep breaths, breathing out any initial tension
you can feel. You are going to relax down through the body
using the breathing to release any residual tension.
Allow your breathing to return to your normal level.
Focus on your face and allow any tension in the jaw and mouth
to be released as you breath out.
Moving down to the neck and throat area, breathe out any tension
in the muscles here.
Focus on the shoulders and, as you breathe out, allow them
to drop by a couple of millimetres as you relax them.
Feel your spine supported against the back of the chair.
Check that your hands and fingers are also relaxed and that
they feel a little heavy in your lap.
Focus now on your hips and feel the chair under your body
and the weight of your body on the chair as you breathe out.
On the next out-breath, let your thighs relax and allow your
knees to move apart to allow these joints to relax.
Breathe out any tension in the ankles and feet and let your
heels and all your toes feel the floor under your feet.
Finally, take a deeper breath and feel any tension leaving
your body and flowing down into the Earth.
The only thing that matters at this moment is now - there
is nothing that cannot wait for our attention until we have
completed our relaxation session.
Know that you are safe in your own space and that you are
allowing yourself to focus on relaxing and re-energizing over
the next few minutes.
Promise yourself that you will simply observe the thoughts
about your life that might come into your mind while you're
relaxing - nothing will remove your serenity.
When you feel comfortable that you have relaxed for long enough,
keeping your eyes closed or your gaze downwards, gently wiggle
your fingers and toes.
Feel your body once again on the chair; feel your feet on
And when you are ready, open your eyes and just sit for a
few moments making sure that you are fully aware of everything
around you before you get up from the chair.
Back to the top
Living in the present
When we focus on relaxation, we are living in the present
moment. We are not concerning ourselves with the past or the
The present is the best place to be,
even when life is unpleasant, because it lasts for a
very short moment. We can adjust to cope with anything
that only lasts a moment. If we have a block of unpleasant
moments, living just in each particular moment allows
us to adjust gradually. We are very resilient if we
allow ourselves to be so.
Agonizing over the past and the future
is one of the greatest drains on our energy. And it
is futile because we cannot change the past, and we
don't know what's going to happen in the next few minutes
let alone the next day, week or year.
Our influence on the future is greatest when we live in the
present for most of the time, making the best use of it by
learning from every single experience in our lives.
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Our thoughts provide us with the greatest potential for expanding
our energy and the greatest potential for allowing it to drain
away uselessly. We have hundreds of thoughts in an hour -
we can choose to think creatively or we can choose to think
There is a two-way communication between our thoughts and
every single cell in our bodies. When we think creatively,
our cells respond healthily and collaborate with us in living
our lives in the best way for us as individuals.
Whatever we think is reflected in our outer lives - as within,
so without. So, for example, if you feel a relationship is
not as good as it could be and you continue to hold this thought,
the relationship will probably continue to be disappointing.
Conversely, if you think before an interview that you are
the best possible person for the job, you multiply your chances
of getting that job.
Experiences are attracted to us because of what is within
us - they are a reflection of our inner selves.
But how do we talk to ourselves in our heads during the constant
chatter that is our inner thought process. What's the tone
of voice we hear? Is it a teacher, parent, carer or boss who
criticizes us at every opportunity? Or is it a loving friend
who gently encourages us to be the best we can be?
If we are constantly criticizing ourselves,
we are allowing our energy to drain away without using
If we remember that each of us does the
best with the knowledge, wisdom and experience we have
at any given moment, the voice in our head can become
that of the loving friend. Hindsight is a wonderful
thing. After the event, we have moved on in our growth,
development and knowledge and we would approach any
situation differently now.
But now is a great time to be living - we have a fast pace
of life that allows us so many opportunities for growth and
development, but it can also be a fearful time for many people.
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This is another huge drain on our energy reserves, and the
planet is fear-based right now, consciously and unconsciously.
There are many things that souls tend to fear on a daily
basis, for example, failure, success, unhappiness, happiness,
loss of a job, financial insecurity, lack of friends, intimacy,
life ... and even fear itself. This is just a very small list
of the numerous fears that many souls have. When channelling
the healing energies I have frequently felt the fears that
people have, most of which have actually impacted on their
The best way to reduce or eliminate fear is to identify exactly
what our fears are and this can be difficult for many people
because they are often well disguised by our subconscious.
We often bury our fears deep inside us so that we don't have
to deal with them. Instead we just start to feel uneasy and
edgy when they start to surface as a result of a trigger.
So this requires great honesty and courage for many souls.
Once we have identified our fears, it is helpful to try and
understand the origins of our fears, which are frequently
found in our relationships with other souls. Painful past
experiences can often be traced back as far as our childhood
in many cases, but it can also be related to events or situations
in the more recent past, which can make the process of identification
As children and in our adolescent years
moving through to our early twenties many relationships,
situations and events can cause us great pain emotionally,
which can remain with us into our later years.
But once we have identified our fears
and understood where they come from, we can take back
control of our responses so that our fear levels are
gradually reduced or perhaps even eliminated.
It is a fact of life that most of the things we worry about
- or fear - on a daily basis will probably never happen. We
often use up a huge amount of emotional energy worrying about
and fearing future situations and events only to find that
they either never happen or are much better than we had anticipated.
If we can learn to accept that every single thing that happens
in our lives is simply there for us to learn from, we take
the emotional sting out of them and allow our fear to gradually
disappear. We have not come here to the Earth plane to suffer;
we are here to enjoy the life experience.
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If we wish to be more active physically in reducing our fear
levels, we can do this through our breathing.
Many of us tend to breath by expanding and contracting the
chest only to allow for the expansion of the lungs. This is
a very labour-intensive way of breathing because we have to
expand the ribs, which are quite cumbersome to move.
If we can allow the diaphragm to move downwards to give room
for the lungs to expand, it requires less energy. And the
way to allow this is by expanding the belly area as we breathe
in and to contract it as we breathe out. On the out-breath,
the contracted belly area encourages the diaphragm to rise
again and allow a full out-breath.
Breathing effectively in this way makes the best use of the
air we breathe - it allows more oxygen into the blood, the
brain and every cell of the body. This gives greater clarity
of thought, more physical energy, and greater optimism about
everything in life.
Another advantage to this type of breathing is that it is
impossible for the belly and solar plexus muscles to remain
tense, and this is the area where fear tends to reside. Releasing
the physical tension helps to release the emotional tension.
If you practise this type of breathing until it becomes your
natural method, you will prevent the tension of fear before
it gains a hold.
The three core certainties of life
These are the certainties that many people tend to fear:
Uncertainty: we never know what
the future will bring
Change: nature is constantly changing through the tides,
the cycles of the sun and the moon to bring day and night,
the weather, the seasons - these are natural processes that
we do not question. So it is inevitable that we, as souls
evolving on the Earth plane, should also change and bring
change constantly. Change is what promotes our growth and
Death or disincarnation from the planet.
And the order of priority for these three certainties is different
for all of us.
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Change is happening at breakneck speed right now and it can
be a huge drain on our energy or it can expand our energy.
Many people tend to either resist change instead of going
with the flow and conserving energy, or they are rushing around
trying to keep up of get ahead of the changes, thus creating
tension in their lives which drains their energy.
If we are to expand our energy, we need to accept change
as a natural part of our learning process and allow it naturally
into our everyday lives, so that we can enjoy the many changes
that can be very exciting. We can never stop change but we
can adjust our response to it so that it rarely knocks us
When we think about this, it can sound as if it is a heavy
load to carry but, if we take responsibility for everything
in our lives, it can make us feel lighter because it is part
of living a full and rounded life. The only time it becomes
a burden is if we take on responsibility that is not ours,
for example, that which should be taken on by others.
If we accept that we always have a choice in all that we
do, we can choose how we respond to what's happening to help
us flow with our lives instead of resisting.
We always have to remember that it
is our choices and decisions that have got us to this
Taking responsibility means being honest
with ourselves by identifying and understanding our
fears, identifying what gives us security, satisfaction
and joy, and which issues are, in fact, our responsibility.
This includes being honest with others without causing
hurt, although this may not always be possible.
Taking care of our body is our responsibility by not putting
things into it that we know damage it or leave us feeling
drained of energy, and working our bodies in the right way
for us as individuals. If we honour our body as the vehicle
for our soul in this lifetime, we will naturally do everything
that is necessary to keep it in good condition.
We need to be true to ourselves by being the sort of person
we want to be, not what our friends, family, teachers or others
want us to be. This is what enables us to participate fully
in our lives rather than holding back all the time because
we don't resonate with the way we live our lives.
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Going with the flow
However much life changes, we need to go with that flow and
that means making sure we take care of our selves by being
kind to our selves, which is not something that many of us
Giving our selves time to assimilate the many changes into
our lives instead of expecting that we will just bounce through
life from one crisis to another conserves our energy. Regardless
of how we have lived in the past, we do have time to stop,
absorb and adjust to change - the relaxation exercise above
is one way of achieving this.
||Allowing our selves to experience a passion
for life, not by rushing around trying to fit as much
as possible into this life - quantity rather than quality
- but by slowing down and actually appreciating the infinite
beauty around us. Valuing our relationships with family,
friends and co-workers, accepting our children as miracles
and viewing it as the honour it is to nurture them in
this life, appreciating the beauty of nature, art, music
and literature. There is beauty all around us if we stop
and look for it and when we find it, our energy expands
with the awe of what we discover.
We live in a wonderful age where we can have or do almost
anything we like - it is the stuff of miracles and yet we
take it for granted.
Reminding ourselves to be grateful for everything in our
lives is another wonderful way of lifting our energy levels.
Briefly running through all that we have to be grateful for
just before we go to sleep creates a serenity and joy that
can bring us a sound night's sleep surrounded by the light
of love for everything in our lives.
We also need to remember to be grateful for everything that
has happened to us up to now - the good and the not so good
because the lessons we learned have brought us to where we
are today - all the choices we have made have provided us
with lessons to help us grow and develop.
Learning to say 'no' in a loving way when we know we cannot
take on anymore is the kindest thing we can do for our selves
and others. Our energy is not used effectively when we either
fail to do what we promise or do it poorly for lack of time.
Going with the flow means learning to just 'be' rather than
constantly 'doing'. Taking a little time each day to simply
relax and 'be' re-energizes and rejuvenates us, if we commit
ourselves to doing it with a passion.
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The global picture
Up to now, we have only considered ways of expanding our energy
on a personal level but looking at the global picture can
also expand our personal energy and that of every other soul
on the planet.
Whether we acknowledge it or not, everything and everyone
on this planet is connected - every plant, tree, animal and
soul. And we are all part of this incredible universe.
Building good relationships with all those with whom we come
into contact, and particularly those closest to us, is essential
and it would not be overstating the case to say that this
is a lifetime's study for every soul.
I know with every fibre of my being that we are all also
connected to the Source from which we originated - the Source
of infinite love.
Whatever we do to ourselves or another soul, we do to every
single sould on the planet. So whilst you may think that what
you have read up to now does not apply to you - think again.
You just still view yourself as separate!
||We need to honour everything on this planet
and treat it with respect. The animals and plants give
themselves up so that we can be nourished. Any mistreatment
of them or waste of food is a dishonour to the sources
of our nourishment and only serves to allow our energy
to drain away without effective use. Wherever possible,
only eating food raised or grown by those who respect
the living organism, preparing food with loving care and
taking the time to enjoy it fully in a focused way is
how we expand our energy.
There is a significant energy drain from most of us because
we forget that we are all one.
We engage in behaviours that separate us - elitism, sexism,
racism, competition, wars. We are allowing our energy to drain
away because we are not using it creatively in looking for
the many, many things that connect us. We are inextricably
linked and when we accept this and live our lives accordingly
we have a healthy exchange of creative energy with all other
Putting aside the spiritual aspects for the moment, logically
we are all connected:
We all breathe the same air - for example, some believe that
we all have a molecule within us of the air Socrates breathed!
Our physical bodies are the same.
We have to work together to be able to live on the plant -
those countries where there is disharmony and war are impoverished
so the evidence is there for us all to see.
We all feel the same emotions - happiness, sadness, anger,
frustration, contentment, joy - and particularly love.
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The greatest energy expander of all
I believe that our purpose here - and the reason why we keep
reincarnation - is to learn unconditional love for everything
and every soul on this planet.
Every time we give love to another, our energy is increased.
Every time we feel compassion, our energy levels rise.
Every time we feel the welling up of love for those closest
to us, we can feel our energy expand.
And, most importantly, every time we love, accept and forgive
ourselves and others for any perceived harm, disrespect or
disagreement, our energy expands the most.
All loving exchanges create love energy, which is the most
powerful there is.
This is the Spirit of Oneness.
Relaxation and The Breath of Life
Written by Jenny Jones
The Breath of Life
is controlled by our autonomic nervous system and, as
the name suggests, it is an automatic response - we don't
have to think about each breath, our brain and body does
this for us. As a result we tend to take for granted the
air that gives us life and the response that allows us
The first thing a baby usually does when it comes out of
the womb is to breathe. And we need to go back to our first
few days, months and years in order to learn again how to
breathe in a way that is easy for our bodies and which is
If you watch a baby sleeping, you can learn again the best
way of breathing, which is the natural, unforced method of
breathing using the belly area. When we breathe in, our bellies
expand and when we breathe out, our bellies contract. This
allows the diaphragm to move downwards giving a greater area
into which the lungs can expand, and thus a larger amount
of air is sucked into the body.
It is fascinating to see people in workshops returning again
to this form of breathing - the studied facial expressions
while they try to master this forgotten skill are quite comical.
Many of us find it very difficult to achieve this because
we have spent so much of our time breathing through the upper
chest. Expanding the rib cage is much more labour intensive
because of the cumbersome nature of the skeleton.
The reasons for our change in breathing to
using the chest area are interesting:
Life has become so fast-paced now that we don't
take time to slow ourselves down properly at any point.
Whether we are aware of it or not, many of us live in a state
of stress, at one level or another, for most of our lives
so we breathe in the same way as cavemen would have done when
they were hunting - 'fight-or-flight' mode. In other words,
we are deciding all the time whether or not to stand our ground
and deal with the many and varied situations that arise in
our lives or whether to back off and deal with the frustration
that it causes.
For women, we have been urged for many years to make sure
that we have flat stomachs. And how many times have we heard
someone say when they're trying to squeeze through a small
space, 'Breathe in'?
Whilst this kind of stress is harmless for very short periods
of time, lengthy periods keep adrenaline pumping around our
system for too long and can do a great deal of harm. Breathing
through the upper chest is a symptom of this situation and
also a primer for further stress - it's a vicious cycle.
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How often do we need to relax?
At least once a day and preferably twice a day, and it's helpful
if we can arrange one of these sessions for the period just
before we go to bed so that we're in the right frame of mind
to sleep soundly and effectively.
Trying to get a good night's sleep after working or studying
during the evening is very difficult for most people. It doesn't
allow time for the brain to go into a state of lower activity
so that it can wind down ready for sleep. Equally, many people
find that doing strenuous physical exercise not long before
bed without effective 'cool down' and relaxation periods prevents
them from settling down easily and/or sleeping through the
night. Although some people find that exercise before bed
actually helps them to sleep!
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Preparation for relaxation
It is important to make sure that you won't be disturbed during
your relaxation session because it can be quite a shock to
the system if the telephone rings or someone rushes into the
room. So, if you live with other people, you need to negotiate
with them for some privacy and quiet as far as possible, or
perhaps arrange your sessions for when no one else is around.
They will soon get used to the idea that this is 'your time'
if you show that you are committed to it.
It's best to be in an enclosed space of some kind - a room
with a door that you can shut or a garden that is secluded
and as quiet as possible. To shut out surrounding noise, you
might consider playing quiet, relaxing music and perhaps use
An oil burner containing aromatherapy oil contributes to
a relaxed atmosphere if you're in an enclosed room - lavender
or rose are good for relaxation.
A comfortable chair that supports your body all the way down
your spine is essential; otherwise, you'll tense up in those
areas where you're not supported. Take some time to get yourself
comfortable before you start so that you don't have to make
any radical movements during the session.
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The relaxation session
Before we can genuinely relax, we have to learn how to breathe
in a relaxed way; otherwise we'll just get more and more frustrated
at not being able to completely relax.
|So start by closing your eyes (or looking
downwards to a point a few inches in front of your knees)
and focusing on your breathing and take slightly deeper
breaths - taking very deep breaths tends to lead to over-breathing
which can induce as much tension as breathing through
the upper chest. Notice what happens to your body as you
breathe - is it just your chest that is moving in and
out? Is it a little difficult to breathe?
Shift your focus to your belly and place your hands over
this area. Allow your belly to expand as you breathe in -
if you're not used to this way of breathing, it can be helpful
to actually push your belly out gently. Feel your hands lifting
and then softly falling as you breathe in and out. Your chest
should only expand at the end of an in-breath and even then
it probably won't be a significant expansion.
Once you've mastered this mode of breathing, you'll begin
to feel very relaxed and you can then let your breath become
more shallow and light so that you are not working hard at
breathing at all, and you can allow your hands to relax in
Now imagine there is a ball of warmth under your feet - feel
it warming your feet and feel them start to relax into the
warmth of the ball. Allow this ball of warmth to travel up
to your ankles and feel them relax also.
Allow the ball to travel up your calves and feel the muscles
loosen as the warmth fills them; then allow it to travel up
to your knees, through your thighs and hips, and focus on
the warmth flooding your muscles with relaxation.
Let the ball work its way up your spine, warming and relaxing
each individual disc and making the fluid between the discs
warm so that it lubricates your back and makes it feel flexible.
Feel the ball spreading its warmth across your shoulders and
down through your arms into your hands so that they feel heavy
in your lap.
Now feel the ball moving up to your neck, spreading the warmth
up into the back of your head and allow it to stay there on
the back of your neck so that the warmth and relaxation you
feel throughout your body lets you relax the muscles in your
face and your throat.
Visualize all the tension from your body flowing down through
your feet and into the Earth.
Feel your whole body relaxed and heavy on the chair and,
in this relaxed state, focus again on your breathing without
trying to change it in any way - simply observe your breath.
As you breathe in, think about calmness and serenity; as you
breathe out, think about letting any tensions go from your
body down through your feet into the ground.
Sit like this for as long as you're able or, preferably, for
as long as seems right to you and, when you're ready, with
your eyes still closed or your gaze downwards, become aware
of your feet on the floor, your body on the chair and picture
in your mind the room or garden around you.
Wiggle your toes and fingers gently and then gradually open
your eyes and return to the scene around you.
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After the relaxation session
Clearly, when we've been in a state of deep relaxation, it's
not a good idea to leap out of the chair and do anything strenuous.
We need to gradually ease ourselves back into normal life
and, if we've been relaxing before sleep, the next thing to
do is to just get into bed and allow ourselves to drift off
But if we're relaxing at some time during the day, it is
a good idea to view the easing back into normality as a part
of the relaxation process so that we gain the most benefit
from the session.
Relaxation is a valid part of taking good care of ourselves
- it has nothing to do with being lazy (unless, of course,
you're doing it for most of the day!).
When we get used to making these sessions a routine part
of our day, we will start to experience the real benefits:
a more relaxed way of living so that we actually achieve
more in our days than we did before;
a better relationship with our selves and those around us
- fewer situations irritate us and we learn to go with the
flow of life more easily;
our minds are clearer and sharper;
we appreciate life more - the fun, the laughter, the beauty,
Relaxation is not just an option ... it's an essential part
of a balanced life. Try it and see for yourself!
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Other websites related to health and wellbeing:
Natural Energy Healing
Written by Jenny Jones
Natural Energy Healing
If you would like to have distant healing sent to someone
or for yourself, please click here.
I am a member of the Universal Association of Healers - for
more information, and for distant healing requests from all
members of the Association, please go to www.uahealers.org
Healing is probably one of the most natural activities in
the world. We all do it to one degree or another: comforting
those left after losing a loved one; allowing someone the
space to talk to us about a problem; giving a child a hug
when they fall over and hurt themselves. Whenever we offer
help to another soul in whatever form, this is a form of healing
because we have the intent to soothe their spirit - to help
them to know that the world is not as scary a place as it
might seem at that moment. We are all healers.
|But some of us have the need to take this
to a slightly higher level where we consciously channel
healing energies to other souls. Often, healers channel
consciously for the whole of their current life, or they
just feel the urge to find out more about it and find
that it seems 'right' to practise, or others have had
some tragedy or enlightening experience at some point
that nudges them into channelling healing for the rest
of their lives.
What is Natural Energy Healing?
Natural energy (or spiritual) healers draw through their bodies
the healing energy that is all around us and channel it to
others. The source of this energy is a matter of the healer's
own particular faith (which does not mean religion). Examples
of how it is viewed by different healers are: as a universal
consciousness; Divine Spirit; universal spiritual field; God;
Jesus, the Goddess, and many more origins. Wherever they believe
it originates, it is a universal belief that this energy triggers
the self-healing function within the person receiving the
energies. Natural energy healers do not use their own energy
to heal; they allow themselves to be used as a conduit through
which the healing energies flow.
These energies work on emotional and physical challenges
and it is not up to healers to decide which areas the healing
energies will effect, although they may place their hands
close to where they feel the imbalance might be located. They
only know that the energies will work for the highest good
of the person receiving them.
Natural energy healers have a two-year probationary period
of training and practise that allows them to learn how to
channel the energies effectively and to resolve any emotional
issues that prevent them from being an open channel. This
can be emotionally quite gruelling because healers have to
commit themselves to this process and work hard to achieve
a balance in their lives that allows them the peace and serenity
to open themselves fully to these energies. (Click here for
more information about training)
Choosing to accept the gift of being a healer is not, therefore,
a life path to be taken on lightly.
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The healing session
This can take from twenty minutes to
an hour to complete. The healer will usually take a
brief medical history first, discuss any particular
difficulties that the client is having, and explain
what will happen while the healing is taking place before
starting the healing session itself. Time is set aside
for discussion and questions afterwards.
The healer will also advise you to visit
your doctor to discuss your health concerns if you have
not already done so.
Most healers will indicate that the healing session has started
by placing their hands gently on the client's shoulders, and
then place them there again to indicate when the session is
over. This allows the client to relax totally and the healer
will often take them through a relaxation exercise at the
beginning, particularly if they feel there is difficulty in
releasing some tension.
Many people fall asleep during a healing session and find
that they sleep very soundly!
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Potential effects of healing
Everyone has a different response to receiving the healing
energies - from a slight to a more radical reaction. But the
most common reactions, felt either in various parts of the
body or all over, could be:
heat or cold
seeing beautiful coloured lights in the mind
slight movement within the body
no reaction at all
All of these responses are perfectly normal and it is
unlikely that any of them will be so pronounced that
they become alarming.
After the healing session it is advisable
to avoid any strenuous exercise or stress because the
healing energies will continue to work after the session
is over if the client remains relaxed.
For some conditions, the healing can actually take place
later because that's the best time for the body to absorb
the energies and gain the most benefit.
Some people will feel nothing happening during a healing
session but will have some minor effects afterwards, like
thirst, lethargy or mild pain.
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Claims about healing
As with all complementary therapies, no genuine healer will
claim to be able to cure anyone of any disease or condition.
We are all here to learn particular lessons during this lifetime
and illness is a great teacher. This may seem harsh but many
have found that their illnesses have shown them wisdom that
they would never have accessed in any other way. Equally,
those who experience ongoing ill health act as teachers for
Healing can still help those who don't experience a resolution
to their health challenges. Because healing works on emotional
issues as well as physical, the healing will always help everyone
to cope more easily with their symptoms.
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Belief in healing
Many people expect that natural energy healers will be members
of a church, and often a Spiritualist Church, but this is
not always the case.
Religion and faith can be too entirely separate issues: there
are many people who practise a religion but in reality do
not have a faith in God - they just attend church because
it's part of their family tradition or because they want to
be seen to be religious. Equally, there are very many people
nowadays who are disillusioned with religion and choose not
to attend a church, but still have a very deep and abiding
faith in a Higher Power. Many healers fall into this category
and indeed some are pagans, believing in the Goddess and God
and in nature as sources of healing energies.
No genuine healer will wish to convert anyone to their own
particular faith or beliefs, within or outside of a church.
They simply want to help others by channelling the healing
energies to them for their highest good.
There is also no need for the client to have a religious
faith for the healing to work. It is, however, sensible to
have faith in the abilities of the healer. We don't take our
cars to be serviced without a belief that the garage can do
the job effectively and efficiently so why should it be any
different when we're looking after our bodies?
If we seek healing, it is sensible for the us to open ourselves
to the full effects of the healing, in the same way as the
healer is opening up to channelling the healing energies.
If we don't believe that the healer working with us is not
the best healer we could have or we're seeking healing because
we've been forced into it by family or friends, the effects
will be minimal.
Healing, like other complementary therapies, requires engagement
between the healer and the client in an atmosphere of trust
to gain the optimum benefit.
Pharmaceutical drugs and surgery are so radical and invasive
that our minds don't have to engage for the effects of the
treatment to be manifested, often masking symptoms rather
than treating the root cause. Regrettably, we have now become
so used to handing over our bodies to doctors, nurses and
consultants that we've become apathetic about making an effort
to contribute to the healing of our bodies. Healing and other
complementary therapies require that we are active and take
responsibility for the temples that are our bodies - the vehicles
for our souls in this lifetime.
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Many healers offer healing at a distance because the healing
energies are not subject to time and space as we perceive
them. As with contact, or 'hands-off' healing, physical and
emotional imbalances can be helped.
Each evening at around 9.30 pm, I sit and ask for healing
to be sent to those wish to receive it through me. When I
am at health shows and events, I leave free healing rosettes
on my stand for people to take who would like to receive healing
or who know others who would benefit.
These rosettes are useful in focusing attention on the healing
energies, so I suggest, on the back of the rosettes, that
anyone who needs to receive healing sits quietly between 9.30
pm and 10.00 pm on any evening and know that the healing energies
are coming to them to help them to heal themselves. But you
can also receive the healing in the same way by sitting quietly
without the rosette.
The issues for which healing is requested vary from those
with cancer, heart disease or injuries from accidents to those
who are caring for sick loved ones, those who are grieving
for someone and people suffering from depression and other
mental imbalances. In fact, as with one-to-one healing, the
energies can help with any imbalance of health or emotion.
If you would like to have healing sent to someone or receive
healing yourself, please use the Contact Us page to let me
know and I will send healing to them with my love and blessings.
This is just a brief overview of natural energy healing but
if you have any queries or comments on what you have read
here, please contact me at email@example.com
I'd be happy to hear from you.
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For more information about healer training courses, contact
the National Federation of Spiritual Healing by visiting their
or the Universal Assocation of Healers (www.uahealers.org).
Important Note: All the advice and information that appears
in this website has been researched and much of it is also
the result of my personal experience during healing sessions.
But if you have any challenge with your health, you should
always speak to your GP first to get his or her advice.
The pictures you will see in this website are all original.
They have been taken by my son, David, and I during our travels
around Wales, Sussex and other parts of the UK, and also Australia.
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Spirituality in Everyday Life
How far can we take it?
Before we consider this question we have to define what we
mean by ‘spirituality’. In an everyday context
the definition of the word ‘spirituality’ follows
the traditional line that spirituality cannot be experienced
unless it is within the context of religion. One could view
this as an anachronistic definition of the word in today’s
world because there are so many of us who no longer follow
a religion but pursue our own individual beliefs, either separately
or as part of a non-religious spiritual group – and
this is the core of my definition of spirituality.
There are key components to exploring our spiritual selves
but what follows is by no means an exhaustive list of components
for everyone because, above all, spirituality is a very personal
issue. I believe these are the core components in the view
of living spiritually that those who think about it and act
on it incorporate into their philosophy.
I believe spiritual intelligence, like general intelligence,
is something we are born with; the level varies considerably
from one soul to another. In other words, we are all at different
stages of spiritual development when we’re born and,
just like general intelligence, this diversity is part of
the joy of life. We can learn to use it as well as we can,
whatever our starting level. Learning to listen to our intuition
and learning to assess how well we are listening are a couple
of the ways in which we can enhance whatever gift we had at
birth as part of our development while we are here.
Throughout this exploration of spiritual awareness, I’ve
tried to keep things as simple as possible. I believe that
philosophers, psychologists and others who try to explain
our intelligence often make it all too complex for most of
the rest of us to understand. For the purposes of this subject,
I’ll refer to spiritual (SQ), general (IQ) and emotional
(EQ) intelligence, all of which I believe overlap with common
sense. Common sense is viewed by some today as just our general
intelligence but I have met and worked with a huge number
of people who have been acknowledged as intelligent and who,
at times, show very little common sense so I cannot subscribe
to that viewpoint on the basis of my own experience!
Emotional intelligence could be described as being able to
identify and assess our emotions and be able to control them,
where appropriate – without totally suppressing them
– for most of the time. In other words, being aware
of and acting on our emotions without becoming screwed up.
The first part of the description of being, or seeking to
be, spiritually aware is to have faith in something that is
not always obvious or clear but which, as part of our interest
in spirituality we constantly seek to understand. There is
a great deal of faith involved in our spiritual development
and this is what many scientists either struggle with or completely
dismiss as a result of their scientific training. It is much
easier if we come here with a conscious awareness of the innate
sense of the mystical being a part of our life here on Earth,
as a few very souls do. But even then we have to use common
sense to a certain degree.
Throughout the ages, people have exploited the gullibility
of others less worldly-wise than themselves – most commonly
to make money out of them but also often to manipulate situations
to their advantage. So, whilst we may wish to act in a spiritually
generous way, we still have to be aware of, and take steps
to reduce the impact of, those whose morals are questionable.
It requires that we look within, rather than out into the
world, in many instances. But we must still seek to understand
how the world works so that we won’t be taken in. It’s
a thin line we walk when bringing spiritual awareness into
our daily living to maintain what security we can for ourselves.
The next suggestion again requires faith. First, we have
to really know, that we are all one with each other and everything
else in the Universe through our faith and, only when we really
understand this can we move on to the next step which is to
learn to have faith in and love ourselves as an integral part
of that Universe.
We’re saying that the Universe (or perhaps more accurately,
energy) is forever sustained in one form or another, and science
tends to back this up, and that we are part of that so we
must be sustained in one form or another. These are huge leaps
which are not easy even when science supports a part of it.
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But if we use our common sense, we know that, from a material
point of view, Nature never wastes anything so, as we are
part of that, logically we cannot be wasted. We know that
our bodies go back to Mother Earth when they can no longer
support us and that our souls cross over to Spirit after our
material existence here. There is daily mounting evidence
through contact with Spirit, using scientific methods to eliminate
fraud, of each life being a part of a ‘journey’.
I have a friend who tells me that she would love to believe
all of this but she just cannot bring herself to do it –
I think she is describing a large number of people in the
world, although I do believe that number may be decreasing.
But I wonder if the difficulty in accepting this may have
something to do with the fact that the manic life many of
us now lead makes loving ourselves a challenge – we’re
competitive, driven in many areas of life, and judgement or
criticism are used as a matter of course. And this brings
us on to the next of my suggestions.
Treating all of those around us as equal but different in
their talents and beliefs and showing respect for this diversity,
using honesty and integrity in all that we do. We would hope
this is a worldly or material view as much as it is spiritual.
Isn’t this the way that all of us would wish to be treated?
So, integrating it with spirituality need not be such a difficult
process if we use our emotional intelligence here –
understanding that for everyone’s emotional security,
treating others as we would wish to be treated is common sense
for a harmonious world. In reality, of course, that doesn’t
happen because many people can treat others appallingly in
all walks of life and all arenas.
The next suggestion falls into the same category: to experience
compassion towards ourselves and towards others, and practise
this loving kindness always as far as possible so that we
allow others to learn and experience life in their own way,
provided it does no harm.
But the seductive effect of having power over others creates
the opposite situation in many cases. Historically, religious
fervour, greed for territory and wealth, and political imperative
have caused great harm to millions over the centuries. Even
in a religious sense, and perhaps particularly where religion
is concerned, spiritual consciousness can be completely absent
in the frenzy to change others to a particular way of thinking.
Seeking spiritual consciousness for ourselves opens us up
to understanding how important it is for others to be able
to make their own decisions and decide their own path, and
that we do not have the right to inflict our views or behaviour
on others if they’re not willing.
Part of our ability to understand these ideas and access
further ideas ourselves so that we can develop in our own
way is the next suggestion: to regularly engage in some form
of silence, whether this is complete relaxation or meditation
to look within. This is also strongly linked to the next suggestion,
which is to practise as much as possible living in the present
– trying to give our full attention to everything we
When we practise being in silence for periods of time, we
learn to be in the present moment and this spills over into
our daily lives. In some Eastern mystical traditions, it’s
said that we can live our whole life as a form of meditation
if we really engage fully in our structured times of silence.
I can attest to this because I know that there are days when
I’m fully engaging with life but I know that I’m
still in a low-level meditative state – those are the
days that are blissful and fulfilling! Life flows freely through
An area where we can very fully bring spiritual consciousness
into every part of our lives is in the next suggestion: to
listen to others, not necessarily to offer any advice but
just to let them know that we are listening and acknowledging
them as part of the oneness.
When we do this, we are acknowledging that we are all perfect
souls struggling with issues in life; it’s not just
a case of common courtesy – we are empathising with
other souls. That’s what we mean by truly listening.
Obviously we can’t do that all the time when life is
so fast but if we can consciously try to do it for most of
the time, we lighten the load of those around us because they
know, for sure, that they’re not alone.
Human beings are social creatures and yet we have a larger
percentage of the population now living alone than ever before
by a significant margin. Market research carried out by Euromonitor
International in 2012 showed that the number of people globally
living alone rose from about 153 million in 1996 to 277 million
in 2011, an increase of around 80% in 15 years. In the UK,
34% of households have one person living in them and in the
US it's 27%.
Many people feel alienated by the societies of which they
could be a part. We hear a great deal today about bullying
in schools, workplaces, families and on-line and it certainly
appears to be increasing. At this point in our evolution,
the human species has made the greatest strides in communications
ever known, and yet our communication skills are becoming
ever more inept.
Simply talking to people, whoever and wherever they are,
whenever we get the chance rather than being as insular as
we have become is perhaps something we could cultivate. Asking
benign, open questions initially can draw people out and then
if they seem comfortable, we can discuss something a little
deeper, and above all training ourselves to listen to the
answers so that we can respond meaningfully could benefit
our communication skills.
Perhaps, as a nation, this would help us to integrate with
our fellow souls, and particularly could help integration
between ourselves and those who have migrated to Britain.
It would also be much harder for terrorists to operate if
everyone was taking an interest in those around them. These
misguided souls are exploiting our lack of interest in each
other and our surroundings.
Having worked our way through my suggestions, I think the
last one just falls into place: from a human point of view,
as well as a spiritual point of view, to practise all of the
above in a way that we really enjoy by using our spiritual
intelligence to discover the most satisfying way of practising
them. If we start to live in the ways I’ve suggested
so far, I believe we automatically find the best ways of practising
our spiritual awareness and our lives can become happier and
more satisfying as a result – it’s a cause and
effect relationship, which impacts on our material life as
much as it does our spiritual.
So, how do we integrate this spiritually conscious approach
into daily living? In honesty, it’s not easy when there
are so many other elements of life clamouring for our attention
in our western culture. Clearly, I’m not offering a
panacea for all our social ills here; I’m making suggestions
to encourage everyone to give it deeper thought and see where
they could perhaps change the way they think and act to facilitate
a more spiritual way of living. I’m going to explore
just a very few areas of life and I hope that it will be relatively
easy to extrapolate from these for other situations in the
Spirituality in Education
Can the education system, in the UK at least, be adapted
to encourage a more spiritual approach rather than simply
seeking good exam results regardless of the standards on which
these are based?
Currently, there is a dichotomy between those parents/carers
who see their role as one of nurturers and educators in co-operation
with their children’s schools and those who see these
roles as part of the school’s responsibility alone.
The latter group’s knowledge or involvement in their
children’s education is probably quite sporadic. The
range of parents’ attitudes towards their children’s
futures is massive so schools face a difficult challenge of
mixed abilities, attitudes and financial backing.
In the Spring 2013 issue of Network Review, the journal of
the Scientific & Medical Network, Anthony Seldon, Master
of Wellington College in Berkshire, wrote an interesting article
in which he states that ‘exam success is a necessary
but not a sufficient condition for being an educated human
being’. He believes that good character lies at the
heart of all they do; that they seek to open their students’
hearts and minds.
In his conclusion, he suggests that prioritising character
means that students will: respect the teacher and each other;
will want to learn, rather than being made to learn; will
want to behave rather than being made to behave, and that
they will probe beneath the surface learning to the depths
of subjects because they will be more reflective people.
I found this heartening because he also believes it can work
in state schools as well as public schools and, indeed, it
already is in a very few areas. Education Minister, Michael
Gove’s recent speech on how he wishes to radicalise
and improve state education was redolent of this ethos (although
we would not all necessarily agree with everything he plans).
This approach is not surprising as Anthony Seldon is one of
Michael Gove’s advisers. This comes close to a spiritual
way of viewing the nurturing and education of our children,
to make them into caring and compassionate citizens when they
go out into the world. By taking this approach, we allow them
to access their spiritual consciousness as an integral part
of their lives.
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Changing our rituals
As we grow older we accumulate more attachments in our lives
– more souls who influence our behaviour, more possessions,
more responsibilities and more activities. In the absence
of the religious rituals that have been traditional, we practise
other rituals, although we don’t see them this way,
and some are benign like reading the newspapers every Sunday
morning in bed or washing the car every week on our day off.
There are, however, many not-so-benign rituals like shopping
every weekend to buy things we hardly use and don’t
really need whilst running up large debts; getting drunk on
a Saturday evening and perhaps being disruptive to others;
lighting up a cigarette when we’re bored, stressed,
or simply when our addiction makes it impossible to resist;
eating throughout the day without thinking about what we’re
eating to keep our bodies healthy; ensuring that we are not
cowed by others by bullying them as a matter of course, giving
us the comfort of control in an otherwise scary world, and
so forth – they become habits or rituals.
I even know many ‘spiritual’ people who indulge
in some of these rituals, considering their spiritual life
to be separate from their material life, and they cannot even
think about how the spiritual might enhance the material because
it would mean giving up the booze, cigarettes and whatever
else they perceive gets them through the day.
These activities are engaged in largely without meaningful
thought; they just happen – in the midst of everything
else that is going on around us. The general population is
seeking pleasure and some form of happiness – and why
not? We are here to enjoy life but many of these rituals or
habits are intrinsically harmful to us in one way or another.
And many of us have little or no insight into the reasons
for indulging in them like perhaps boredom, frustration, fear,
unhappiness or information and activity overload. It is only
human to look for displacement activities when life doesn’t
seem to be flowing through us fluently.
There’s much talk of seeking happiness nowadays but,
from a material point of view, the main sources seem to be
food and sex – you can only eat so much food before
it makes you ill and sex lasts for a relatively short time
when measured against the rest of our daily activities. So
the two main sources of happiness are necessarily fleeting
– as are things such as sports, films, books, travel
and many other activities that can give us brief happiness.
Fitting in everything for our personal happiness
So we have to find out what combination of these many options
can make up our personal recipe for happiness and everybody’s
recipe is different. And in the midst of all of this we have
to earn a living so that we can afford to pursue these sources
of happiness because most of them cost money, and many of
us just don’t have the money to spend on the things
that we perceive would make us happy. Equally, working takes
up much of the time we would spend on those things so we are
constantly juggling our time.
I believe this is why life has become so fast and furious;
we’re trying to fit in as many of those things that
will bring us the elusive happiness we seek and there are
just not enough hours in the day. We have become ‘human
doings’ instead of ‘human beings’ to accommodate
these ‘satisfying’ activities; and most people
perceive there is certainly no time for pursuing spiritual
And technology has not perhaps helped in this because it
seems to have created more work rather than less as we were
told it would – it’s just different types of work.
In some ways, it seems as if it’s introduced a greater
degree of boredom into the workplace than even traditional
factory or labouring work. In many companies there is little
or no face-to-face communication, just contact through electronic
Outside work many activities are similar like, for example,
on-line gambling, on-line shopping, social networking and
computer games. So spiritual seeking in these arenas is not
really viable except for those who specifically visit spiritual
websites perhaps – and many of those are dubious.
Suggesting these activities lack a spiritually conscious
element might label me as old-fashioned and out of touch –
and I could guarantee that the majority of those who would
have this view would be younger people because the current
challenges in meaningful communication and mindful use of
technology are born out of activities that younger people
have grown up with. Many of them have rarely experienced what
it can be like to talk to – and crucially really be
listened to by – those with whom they come into contact;
this is obvious from the films that are so popular nowadays
that have constant action and violence but little dialogue
or plot. Many younger people are too busy playing with their
electronic toys to really engage with those who are actually
sitting opposite them at the time.
No one can blame them for not understanding how conversation
and communication are skills to be cherished. Discussions
about spirituality and what it means in everyday life are
not on the list of interests of most of them, although I would
stress,however, this is by no means all youngsters, giving
us some meaningful hope for the future.
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How do we bring about change?
But perhaps all these challenges, and the many other simple
and knotty challenges I have not mentioned so far, could be
tackled and even resolved quite quickly by bringing spiritual
values into the equation if we had the will, because we have
to allow ourselves to bring spirituality into our lives; we
cannot force it to happen. And they don’t even have
to be called ‘spiritual’ because they are simply
common sense in most cases. I’ve already mentioned talking
to people but there are other strategies that can also help,
a) always making the effort to speak to everyone face-to-face,
if possible, rather than emailing or using the telephone,
particularly those closest to us. Skype is wonderful if you
have relatives in other countries or at the opposite end of
the UK but within and outside the workplace, spending a little
less time on electronic interfaces would offer more human
b) within family units, having meals together in the same
room, with no other distractions, so that conversation can
flow, making each meal a point of contact for as many of the
family as possible, and perhaps even consciously appreciating
the sustenance that Mother Earth gives us.
c) when we want to speak harshly to someone, stopping and
thinking about how we would feel if someone spoke to us in
that way, and perhaps moderating our tone and the words we
d) Never trying to belittle or exclude someone from a group
because they are different or because we disagree with their
viewpoint. Instead we could think about what we can learn
from them, and again, how we would feel if we were in their
shoes. As part of this, we could try really listening to others’
concerns and understanding what they are feeling using our
emotional intelligence rather than projecting our own, perhaps
cynical, attitudes on to them.
If these were the only things our children were encouraged
to do by parents, carers and teachers, this might make a significant
difference in a relatively short space of time – and
it is a ‘spiritual’ approach. If we could go this
far, perhaps we could go much, much further. It would still
be a huge challenge but nothing worth having was ever achieved
Seeking out beauty
One of the easiest ways of bringing a spiritual dimension
into our lives is placing ourselves in the presence of beauty
as often as possible, whether that’s listening to any
type of music that moves us, a piece of artwork that inspires
us, poetry that resonates with us, or just being in the countryside
and enjoying Mother Nature.
We destroy so much that is beautiful when we wage war, or
when we ignore history by ruining books and artefacts that
we consider we don’t have room for, or when we want
to modernise buildings and other spaces that hold an energy
of history and loving deeds. One of the primary sources of
our spiritual development is the appreciation of beauty and
there are so many ways we can bring this into our lives.
So these are just some of the many ways we personally can
raise our spiritual awareness, and influence our local community
and perhaps even our whole country. But what about the way
we interact with the world on a wider basis?
Our involvement with the rest of the world
We are now very firmly living in a world that is connected
by technology in terms of the instant information we receive
through the news media originating from almost every part
of the globe. When there are whispers of a coup in a country
on the other side of the world, reporters and commentators
are on the spot within a very short time sending back news
packages about the situation.
In the West, we are always looking for opportunities to exploit
untouched regions of the world in some way; we seem to have
an evangelical need to spread capitalism, just as we were
about sending missionaries to spread the Christian religion
centuries ago. It seems we have never learned to put our own
house in order before involving ourselves in other people’s
business. And there is an arrogance in the way we often view
ourselves as being ‘experts’ in everything.
My perception of the reason for this is that the West comprises
probably the least spiritual nations in the world.
Ladakh is a prime example of arrogance and greed outweighing
common sense. Situated in India in the state of Jammu and
Kashmir, on the Tibetan Plateau, it is affectionately known
as ‘Little Tibet’ or ‘Mini Tibet’.
Helena Norberg-Hodge first went to Ladakh in 1975 as part
of a film crew. The Indian government had recently made a
decision to open up the region to development. The Chinese
government started to promote tourism in the area opening
it up to western capitalism. The traditional culture was still
very much intact at that time: they grew what they needed
to sustain their community; they only had as many children
as they could comfortably support as a community, and they
lived happily and harmoniously with very little contact with
the outside world. Before the 1970s, Ladakh had experienced
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Norberg-Hodge has spent a great deal of time in Ladakh living
with the Ladakhi people and documenting the changes that have
taken place. The people here have now been subjected to the
external forces of capitalism in many different guises. The
‘invaders’ have been trying to modernise the area
and exploit its resources which has caused massive and rapid
disruption. There have been changes at every level –
environmental, cultural, economic, social and psychological.
Norberg-Hodge notes that, "When I first arrived in Leh,
the capital of 5,000 inhabitants, cows were the most likely
cause of congestion and the air was crystal clear. Within
five minutes' walk in any direction from the town centre were
barley fields, dotted with large farmhouses. For the next
twenty years I watched Leh turn into an urban sprawl. The
streets became choked with traffic, and the air tasted of
diesel fumes. 'Housing colonies' of soulless, cement boxes
spread into the dusty desert. The once pristine streams became
polluted, the water undrinkable. For the first time, there
were homeless people. The increased economic pressures led
to unemployment and competition. Within a few years, friction
between different communities appeared. All of these things
had not existed for the previous 500 years’.
Whether you view this from a spiritual or a material standpoint,
it is horrendous – that the life of any region could
be changed so dramatically, negatively and quickly by outsiders
with such a materialistic philosophy seems to me to be morally
reprehensible. It is a completely selfish act by those ‘invading’
this little region and shows no spiritual or emotional intelligence.
Wars are raging in many areas of the world. If we choose,
we can be fully aware of all of these places where nations
are at war with each other or waging civil wars and, crucially,
we can be very aware of the plight of the innocent individuals
caught up in these wars, suffering deprivations, displacement
and violence. Like the Ladakhis, most souls in the world just
want to lead their lives peacefully and quietly without being
oppressed or forced to live in a war zone.
With the approval and encouragement of various organisations
representing groups of countries, nations may send in troops
to help in some way, as in Iraq and Afghanistan. We have been
fighting government troops in Iraq and insurgents in Afghanistan,
and then trying to bring back some kind of normality for the
From a humanitarian point of view, it ticks all the boxes
to swoop in as heroes and put the country to rights. At that
point, governments conveniently put to one side the strategic
and economic reasons why they would make this huge effort.
I make no apology for being provocative here because I really
want you to think about this from a spiritual point of view
– I am not suggesting the above course of action is
right or wrong. I am simply offering it to you for consideration
and raising questions about our approach.
These countries have very long histories of violence and
living with tyrannical rulers; the indigenous peoples probably
have no true idea of what democracy is. I would suggest that
our own knowledge of this in the West is limited, but yet
we feel we should effectively invade these countries and bring
to them a system of capitalism that we have admitted is not
working that well for us – but we can see no other alternative
to capitalism at this point. The economies of many western
nations are not that strong.
Of course, the difficulty is that people in these economically
poorer countries may not have food, clean water and the sort
of freedoms we are used to but they do seem to have relatively
easy access to the internet and they can see an, albeit, edited
and skewed version of our democracy – material wealth,
freedom of movement and freedom of expression – and
it is very seductive. It seems unfair to them if we refuse
to help them get the same freedoms and wealth. Many of them
have strong religious or spiritual beliefs but these may not
be as seductive as the material pleasures of the world they
see through computer and TV screens.
So, this is what we see when we involve ourselves in countries
that are at war and deprived (because generally the two go
together – governments and oppositions fight while the
citizens of their countries experience the fall-out). What
would be the spiritual way of looking at these situations?
We need to ask ourselves some challenging questions to assess
what would be a more spiritual approach.
By entering these countries and attempting to facilitate
such radical changes to their cultures, governments and economies,
are we denying them the opportunity of learning through change
within their own country by their own people, whatever that
may bring? In other words, are we interfering in their natural
spiritual evolution? Gradual change can be far less disruptive
than sudden, violent change, and the results often have much
more chance of being sustained.
Are we being genuine in our wish to help these countries
or do we have an eye on the natural resources in their regions
that could become available to us more cheaply by taking them
over, or at least having a greater influence on their distribution?
I doubt any government or group of nations has this factor
as a low priority. From a spiritual point of view we are being
disingenuous when we speak more or less exclusively about
our altruistic motives?
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Spiritually, we would certainly feel it would be better not
to wage war under any circumstances, so that we avoid becoming
part of the taking of the lives of so many innocent people.
Perhaps it would be better simply to put our energies into
guarding our own borders. From a material standpoint, people
would view this as an isolationist approach but the issues
we face are these: for cultures in other countries, no matter
how violent, oppressive and unjust they may seem, that have
been living with this ethos for so many centuries, is change
likely to be achieved as quickly as we think it will, or at
all in the long term, by our intervention?
How much chance is there, after all the loss of life on all
sides and the destruction of so much that has been built up
over the centuries, that any form of democracy will take hold?
Is democracy what they truly desire, if they only see a limited
view of what it can offer?
This is particularly pertinent when we discover that in very
many cases, the aid sent by other nations to these countries
fails to reach those who need it but only serves to strengthen
those who are violating and abusing them. We are also aware
that our own and other governments have often supplied other
nations with the arms that they use against their own citizens
and also subsequently against our own troops – another
example of supposedly intelligent people, in government in
this instance, who show no common sense.
We think we’re astute in our strategies but time and
again we’re caught on the back foot and more innocent
people and soldiers are annihilated while strategists and
politicians sit smugly in their offices directing operations.
The evidence is that war is much more complicated than even
politicians and the military can comprehend and handle, which
is why atrocities can happen.
Do we keep returning to try to force changes on people who
traditionally and culturally are used to their own way of
life, however tragic that may seem to us? Is it a spiritual
act to keep trying to change them to our way of thinking?
How can we be sure we are right and they are wrong? Do we
have the humility to address that issue honestly?
These are the dilemmas and this is one of the many areas
where integrating spiritual consciousness into our material
lives can be extremely challenging.
Spiritual consciousness begins at home
Perhaps before we rush off to bring peace, justice and equal
opportunities to other countries, we should examine the attitudes
we have in our own countries in the West.
I would suggest there is limited spiritual consciousness
in some of these examples:
• increasing the population in the UK (and most other
countries) at such a rapid and exponentially high level when
we know that Mother Earth’s resources are already largely
• allowing fraud, inequality and poor working practices
in our public services and the political arena, and exploitation
in private companies in the pursuit of profits for shareholders
and bonuses for managers – all of this at the expense
of individuals who are expected to trust in their integrity;
• pursuing the idea of establishing whether life could
be sustained on other planets when we already have the unresolved
challenge of sustaining life on this planet. Is this a valid
use of scarce resources when people are starving and dying
on this planet – perhaps it’s a way of trying
to escape the hard truths of living on Mother Earth.
• using any form of power/fuel that will eventually
irretrievably deplete Mother Earth’s resources or will
leave a legacy of massive quantities of toxic and harmful
waste, with no true idea of how long it will remain that way.
These are the stuff of everyday material life within which
spirituality sits whether we acknowledge it or not. Our spiritual
evolution is not separate from these issues but an integral
part of the way we live and, in so doing, develop spiritually
– or not.
We have seen at the start my suggestions as to what the core
elements of spirituality comprise and most people who have
given it any thought would agree with the descriptions I have
given with, I’m sure, some amendments and additions
for personal choice. If we consider the content of daily life
in the light of spiritual values we start to think about everything
in an entirely different way.
Some issues are, of course, just too big for us to deal with
individually and those I personally pass to the Source to
surround them with love, knowing my limitations here on the
Earth plane. But I believe we can still influence all of them,
however big they are, by our thoughts and actions on a daily
basis, living in a way that raises our spiritual consciousness.
From Andrew Marr’s series, Britain from Above, it became
obvious early on that we’ve made life so complex now
that we’re constantly on the brink of chaos. We are
trying to control everything and it’s just not possible,
as we’re seeing in the current extreme weather patterns
which are in part our responsibility. We have had a role in
creating these as a result of our behaviour as a species.
Back to the top
Our spiritual home
I don’t believe it was originally any big deal for
individuals to come to the Earth plane but I believe it has
become the case now. I have no proof but I think it’s
more than likely that when a lot of souls return to Spirit
now it takes intense work to retrieve every part of their
While we’re here on the Earth plane with the greed
and manipulation, aggression and violence, cynicism and excess,
and crucially the lack of insight into the reasons for our
behaviour, many of us thoroughly suppress our true souls.
I accept that we all have a light and a dark side and these
are certainly both there to be explored, but, again, it seems
we are taking this, like everything else, to extremes.
For the most part, governments, large institutions, corporations,
religious movements and nations are not focused on raising
spiritual consciousness, which is probably why the world is
such a difficult place in which to live and why we are always
on the brink of chaos. This is a sobering thought when we
think about the future but there is one vital factor that
gives us all hope. All of these entities are made up of individuals
and that’s where we have to focus to have any chance
of truly living in conscious spiritual awareness.
I think it is essential for the rest of each individual’s
journey to bring spirituality much more fully into our lives
at a very personal level. This is where any changes in the
world have even the remotest chance of taking place, through
what we do at a personal level. In many situations we can
disregard those who don’t wish to participate in this
and reduce their impact on us as far as possible. As part
of raising our spiritual consciousness, we hold them in our
hearts with love and hope that our example helps them in some
way. But the population is just too big now for any individuals
to reverse the current trends on a global scale and we have
long since passed the point of meaningful co-operation between
nations. It can only be achieved at a personal level.
A potential solution
Let’s return to the original question: how far can
we go in incorporating spirituality into everyday life? The
answer revolves around our ability to allow ourselves to take
it as far as we can. For some it is a frightening prospect
to open themselves up to something so awesome and all-encompassing.
To others it is so simple to be spiritual, aware and receptive
when they go off somewhere for a retreat or they’re
talking with others of like-mind. But bringing it into the
fabric of our lives is another matter altogether.
I believe there is a way that anyone, regardless of their
level of development, can achieve further development because
it can be taken at the pace that is comfortable for all levels.
It relates to, what I see as, the only goal we have in living
each life here on the Earth plane. If we work towards this
goal and this goal alone, it is likely that everything else
in our lives will more or less fall into place. It sounds
simple and that’s because Spirit is simple – but
the challenge abides in the fact that it’s not easy.
It requires effort but, as I said before, nothing that is
really worthy of being in our lives, that offers us meaning
and removes the boredom and frustration from life, will ever
be achieved easily. We seek happiness and contentment all
the time but it is always fleeting; my contention is that
focusing on this goal can give us lasting happiness and a
sense of fulfilment that cannot be offered by any other activity
or approach to life.
It is a practice that is based in Eastern mystical philosophies
and, again, it is a simple practice but one that bears fruit
more readily when we engage in it on a regular basis. It is
also an exercise that can test whether or not we are truly
making progress in our spiritual development, which is why
it can be daunting. But equally, when we practise it regularly
and see the changes it can make in our lives, it can be more
uplifting than anything else. It is part of finding a regular
time for silence, preferably once a day, and it goes like
This is something to practise when you have put yourself
in a state of complete relaxation whilst still remaining alert.
• You bring to mind someone currently in your life whom
you love deeply (alternatively, it could be someone you loved
in the past) as long as both bring a ‘warm connection’
rather than evoking tears of sadness. Really feel the love
for that person at a deep level; think of how, whatever they
did or said, you would not stop loving them. Feel them as
part of you and feel yourself as part of them, not in a slushy,
sentimental way but as a part of the oneness of the Universe.
This is the unconditional love you feel for those you love
deeply. I would suggest that if you don’t feel this,
you need to do this part of the exercise as many times as
it takes you to feel that deep, unconditional love. When you
truly feel it, sit with the feeling for as long as you feel
• The second step is to think about someone who is
neutral in your life, whose presence makes no real impact.
This could be a work colleague, someone who is on a committee
with you, your postman or anyone who is not an essential part
of your life. Now project on to that person the same love
that you have for the first person you thought about. This
can be challenging and it may be as far as you get with this
exercise for a long time. You may have to repeat these two
steps many times before you feel you can go further.
• Once you are comfortable with the first two steps,
you can start to radiate the same love you felt for the first
two people out to the rest of your close circle of family
and friends, then all the souls in the road where you live,
in the village/town, in the county, in the country, in the
world and then to Mother Earth and all her flora and fauna.
This is the one that will take the longest to master and most
of us will never master it, or perhaps we’ll feel it
fleetingly now and again – but it does not mean we should
not try, and keep on trying!
Back to the top
My perception is that unconditional love is the only thing
that matters while we are here in each lifetime. Logically,
therefore, I would suggest that it must be the only thing
that indicates whether or not we are truly spiritually conscious.
I have given this a great deal of thought and I find it difficult
to see any other benchmark by which we can assess our progress
in living a truly spiritually conscious life. This is what
brings us to the feeling of true oneness with all souls.
In practising this exercise regularly and often, whether we
succeed or not in feeling genuine unconditional love, we can
increase our spiritual awareness and we will automatically
start to treat ourselves and others more lovingly.
This is the trickiest part because, whilst we can do the
rest of the activities of living here on the earth plane without
knowing whether or not we are engaging fully in spirituality,
unconditional love is entirely different. You cannot practise
unconditional love without really feeling it; it has to come
from deep inside us and it has to be understood at a profound
level. Just like everyone else, I struggle with this but it’s
actually a struggle I enjoy most of the time because I am
using my spiritual, emotional and general intelligence to
engage in it – and there are very few other activities
we can pursue on the Earth plane that offer this.
The whole purpose of living lives here on Earth could be
said to be that, from the moment we arrive here, we are set
on a course of awakening to our true spiritual selves through
the experiences we have while we’re here. The description
of the material plane as mãyã, or illusion,
‘that which is not’, is that the Earth plane is
not our real home but simply somewhere we come to experience
and take back what we learn to the Source.
All of this is not easy while we live on Mother Earth because
much of the Western population feel separated from their fellow
souls and, crucially, from any kind of spirituality. Those
who actively seek to raise their spiritual awareness are viewed
as strange or weird and those around them can become quite
uncomfortable in their presence. It does take courage to sustain
an honest exploration of our inner selves and our connection
to the oneness.
In this case, we may have answered the question: how far
can we take spirituality in our everyday lives? We can take
it as far as we wish because, as with everything else, we
have free will. All we have to do is allow ourselves to bring
spirituality into everything we do – not easy, but so
This is the text of a talk given at a meeting of the Scientific
and Medical Network, in Lampeter, mid-Wales, in February 2014.